tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61988637975461594692024-03-13T03:42:13.807-07:00Hilarious, Messy and LOUD!Coming to you straight from Oliver's diaper.Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-51862740220430783712024-03-10T15:34:00.000-07:002024-03-10T15:34:23.039-07:00Chinese and American Cultural Difference - A guide for those navigating the storm of cultural differences<p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Prologue</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In the grand library of history, countless scrolls gather dust, their brittle pages whispering tales of empires long forgotten. Yet, amidst these chronicles of rise and fall, a singular narrative burns brightly, a tapestry woven with threads as distinct and vibrant as any the world has ever known. On one side, a nation young and brash, its colors bold and brash like a sunrise – the United States, a land where opportunity hums in the air like electricity, its streets teeming with the restless energy of dreamers and doers. Here, skyscrapers pierce the clouds, monuments to human ambition, while sprawling highways snake across vast landscapes, testaments to a nation on the move.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">On the other side of this captivating tapestry lies China, an ancient civilization whose colors are steeped in the richness of millennia. Here, dragons dance in the intricate patterns of silk robes, whispers of emperors echo in the hushed halls of forbidden cities, and the wisdom of Confucius guides the brushstrokes of countless calligraphers. Grand walls snake across rugged mountains, testaments to a people who have weathered countless storms, their traditions etched in every jade carving and porcelain teacup.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The distance between these two worlds, both geographically and culturally, is vast. Imagine the cacophony of New York City's honking cabs and chattering crowds juxtaposed against the serene melodies of a pipa player in a secluded Beijing teahouse. Picture the boundless optimism of a young American entrepreneur launching a startup in Silicon Valley compared to the quiet dedication of a Chinese apprentice learning the secrets of a craft passed down through generations. These are the contrasts that define this captivating story, a story that shapes the lives of billions across the globe.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Turn the page, dear reader, and embark on a journey that unravels the complex and fascinating relationship between America and China. We will explore the values, traditions, and behaviors that have made these nations such enduring forces. We will delve into the moments of cooperation and competition that have defined their interactions on the world stage. And ultimately, we will seek to understand the intricate dance between these two giants, a dance that holds the potential to shape the future of our world.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><br /></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 1: Worlds Apart, Minds Engaged: Individualism vs. Collectivism in Everyday Encounters</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Our journey begins with a fundamental concept that shapes much of daily life in both the United States and China: individualism versus collectivism. These terms describe the balance between prioritizing individual goals and desires versus the needs of the group. Understanding these contrasting approaches is key to navigating the complexities of everyday interactions across these cultures.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The United States, a nation born from rebellion and self-reliance, embodies a strong individualistic spirit. This societal value, rooted in the ideals of the Enlightenment and the "rugged frontier" experience, emphasizes personal freedom, independence, and achievement. From former US Vice President Mike Pence, who highlights individual responsibility as the foundation of American liberty, to Senator Elizabeth Warren, who emphasizes the role of collective action in supporting the American Dream, the importance of individual agency resonates across the American political spectrum. This focus on individual pursuits is evident in everyday interactions, from open classroom debates to the emphasis on "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps." The high number of single-person households in the US compared to China further reflects a greater cultural emphasis on individual independence.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">China, with its rich history steeped in Confucian philosophy, presents a contrasting view. Collectivism, prioritizing the good of the group over individual needs, is a core value. Social harmony (和谐 - héxié) is paramount, with Confucian teachings stressing respect for elders, filial piety (孝顺 - xiàoshùn), and fulfilling one's role within the family and society. Economist Li Qiang emphasizes the importance of social order and respect for authority in building a strong Chinese society, while artist and activist Ai Weiwei highlights the potential drawbacks of collectivism, such as stifling creativity and dissent. These contrasting perspectives reflect the ongoing conversation within China about balancing the needs of the collective with the aspirations of its individual citizens. The emphasis on group decision-making, prioritizing consensus and maintaining harmony, and the prevalence of multigenerational households in China all illustrate the importance placed on the collective good in everyday life.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Impact on Everyday Interactions</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">These contrasting value systems of individualism and collectivism play out in countless ways during everyday encounters. Imagine an American classroom: students are encouraged to actively participate, voice their opinions, and even respectfully challenge the teacher's ideas. This reflects the American emphasis on individual expression and critical thinking. In a similar situation in China, the focus might be on respecting the teacher's authority, listening attentively, and arriving at a consensus answer through group discussion.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Meetings and Negotiations</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> present another fascinating point of comparison. American business meetings tend to be more direct and assertive. Individuals come prepared to advocate for their ideas and negotiate aggressively to achieve the best possible outcome for themselves or their company. In contrast, Chinese negotiations often involve a more indirect approach, with a focus on building relationships and establishing trust before diving into specifics. Saving face and maintaining harmony are crucial aspects of the process.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Social Interactions</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> also differ. Americans tend to be more casual and direct in their communication style. Small talk might revolve around personal interests and achievements. Chinese social interactions, on the other hand, often involve greater deference to elders and those in positions of authority. Conversations might focus on maintaining group harmony and avoiding topics that could cause conflict.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Dating and Romance</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> highlight these differences further. American dating culture typically emphasizes individual choice and compatibility. People might date casually and explore different options before settling down. In China, family approval and fulfilling societal expectations often play a more significant role in romantic relationships. Arranged marriages, though less common than in the past, still exist in some parts of China.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">It's important to remember that these are generalizations, and there's a spectrum of behavior within each culture. A young entrepreneur in China might embrace individualism in their pursuit of a startup venture, while a Wall Street banker in the US might prioritize teamwork and building strong client relationships. The key takeaway is that understanding the underlying values of individualism and collectivism provides a valuable lens for navigating the complexities of everyday encounters across these two fascinating cultures.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Blurring Lines: Globalization and the Rise of Hybrid Values</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 0pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The world, however, is not static. Globalization and increased interaction are blurring the lines between these seemingly distinct value systems.</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 3pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">American Individualism and the Rise of Community:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> The emphasis on individual achievement in the US is undeniable, yet there's also a strong sense of community spirit. Volunteerism remains deeply ingrained in American culture, with countless organizations tackling social issues and supporting those in need. Additionally, the rise of social media has fostered a sense of belonging to online communities based on shared interests.</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 3pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chinese Collectivism and the Embrace of Individuality:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> China is also undergoing a transformation. A growing middle class with increased disposable income is fueling a consumerist culture that celebrates personal achievement and self-expression. The "me generation" in China, particularly in urban areas, prioritizes individual goals like career advancement and personal development alongside traditional family obligations.</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Challenge of Stereotypes:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> It's crucial to avoid falling into the trap of stereotypes. Generalizations about entire cultures can be misleading. For instance, American individualism doesn't negate the importance of family in American life, and Chinese collectivism doesn't erase the entrepreneurial spirit flourishing in China today.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Finding Common Ground:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> Despite the differences, there are also commonalities. Both American and Chinese cultures value hard work, education, and a strong work ethic. They both celebrate family, albeit in different ways. Recognizing these shared values can be a bridge for fostering understanding and building stronger relationships across cultures.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><br /></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 2: The Clock's Ticking: Understanding Time Perception Across Cultures</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Time, that seemingly universal concept, can be a source of confusion and even frustration when navigating cross-cultural interactions. Nowhere is this more evident than in the contrasting approaches to punctuality between Americans and Chinese.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The American Concept of Time: A Finite Resource</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Americans view time as a linear, finite resource to be managed and maximized. This perspective stems from a number of factors, including the Protestant work ethic, the fast-paced nature of American society, and the influence of technological advancements that emphasize efficiency and speed. Deadlines are sacrosanct, as Benjamin Franklin famously declared, "time is money," and meticulous planning is paramount, for as he also said, "by failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail." Schedules are rigidly followed in American business meetings, with agendas strictly adhered to and starting and ending times respected. Social settings often hold similar expectations, with arriving late for dinner invitations or appointments considered disrespectful. The popularity of time management tools and apps further underscores the American emphasis on optimizing efficiency and productivity.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Chinese View of Time: A Cyclical Flow</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">For the Chinese, time is perceived differently. Influenced by the cyclical nature of Confucian philosophy and a focus on maintaining social harmony, the Chinese approach to time is more fluid and flexible. Relationships and building trust often take precedence over strict adherence to schedules. Confucius himself advised, "Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire," reflecting the importance of respecting others' time as well as one's own. A Chinese proverb even suggests, "It is better to be a little late than to be a fool," highlighting the potential pitfalls of rushing into situations without proper relationship-building.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Everyday Examples:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In social settings within China, a slight delay is often considered acceptable, reflecting a more relaxed approach to punctuality. The emphasis on building guanxi (关系), meaning relationships and connections, before diving into business discussions can sometimes lead to seemingly "indirect" business practices from an American perspective. This focus on fostering trust and rapport is further exemplified by the concept of "cha shi" (茶水 - tea time) during meetings. These breaks for conversation and relationship-building, while perhaps seen as inefficient by Americans accustomed to a packed schedule, are crucial aspects of Chinese business etiquette.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Bridging the Gap: Understanding Leads to Respect</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">These contrasting perceptions of time can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations in cross-cultural interactions. Americans accustomed to a rigid schedule might perceive Chinese tardiness as disorganization or disrespect. This can lead to feelings of being undervalued or the negotiation process being dragged out unnecessarily. The Chinese, on the other hand, meeting with Americans who seem overly focused on timekeeping might feel rushed or pressured, hindering the ability to build trust and establish a comfortable rapport.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The key is understanding. By recognizing the cultural underpinnings of these contrasting approaches to time, individuals from both cultures can navigate these situations more effectively. Americans can learn to be more flexible and patient, appreciating the importance of relationship-building in Chinese culture. The Chinese can communicate their time constraints more clearly and be mindful of the American emphasis on punctuality, particularly in formal settings. Ultimately, fostering mutual respect and understanding across cultures paves the way for more productive and successful interactions, regardless of whether the clock is ticking or flowing.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 3: Beyond Punctuality: Communication Styles and the Art of Conversation</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Time perception may be a significant difference, but communication styles offer another layer of complexity in US-China interactions. Understanding these variations can help bridge the gap and foster successful communication.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Directness vs. Indirectness: Finding the Right Words</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">American communication tends to be direct and assertive. Individuals are encouraged to express their opinions openly and advocate for their ideas. This can be seen in classrooms where students are expected to participate actively and challenge ideas, or in business meetings where clear and concise communication is valued. However, this directness can sometimes be misconstrued as bluntness or even aggression in Chinese culture.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chinese communication, on the other hand, is often more indirect and nuanced. Harmony and avoiding confrontation are paramount. Saving face and maintaining respect for authority figures are important considerations when expressing oneself. This can involve subtle hints, indirect language, and reading between the lines. For instance, an American manager might deliver critical feedback directly, while a Chinese manager might offer the same critique by couching it in a positive light or suggesting areas for improvement.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Power of Silence: Words Left Unspoken</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Silence also plays a different role in each culture. Americans often view silence as awkward or uncomfortable, and feel pressure to fill any gaps in conversation. Chinese culture, however, is more comfortable with silence. Pauses can be used for reflection, allowing time to formulate a thoughtful response or demonstrate respect for the speaker.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Non-Verbal Communication: Speaking a Universal Language</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">While words may differ, nonverbal cues can bridge the gap. Maintaining eye contact, facial expressions, and body language all play a crucial role in communication across cultures. Understanding these nonverbal cues can be particularly helpful in situations where the spoken language presents a barrier. For instance, a firm handshake and direct eye contact might be seen as confident and respectful in American culture, while in China, a slightly less forceful handshake and averted eyes might convey deference and respect.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Building Cultural Competency: The Road to Effective Communication</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Effective communication across cultures requires a conscious effort to understand and adapt to different communication styles. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">This lesson can be learned firsthand, as I experienced during my time as a missionary in Taiwan.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> (Insert your name here) arrived in Taiwan with a zeal to share their faith, eager to engage in open and direct conversations. However, during one of your first interactions, a handshake that felt natural and a wide smile coupled with direct eye contact was met with a somewhat reserved response. This initial encounter served as a valuable reminder that cultural norms around communication can differ significantly.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Americans can learn to appreciate the indirectness of Chinese communication, focusing on the underlying message and respecting the importance of saving face. The Chinese can benefit from developing a more direct communication style when appropriate, particularly in international business settings.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">By appreciating these cultural differences and actively developing cultural competency, individuals from both the US and China can navigate the complexities of communication more effectively. This paves the way for stronger relationships, clearer understanding, and ultimately, a more successful exchange of ideas and information across cultures.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Successfully navigating the cultural complexities between the US and China hinges on one crucial element: trust. While American and Chinese cultures approach business and social interactions differently, building strong relationships based on mutual trust is a universal goal.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The American Approach: Transparency and Open Communication</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Americans often build trust through a more direct and transparent approach. Open communication, clear expectations, and a focus on legal contracts are hallmarks of American business dealings. Building rapport can occur alongside these elements, but the emphasis lies on establishing a clear framework for collaboration.</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 3pt; margin-top: 3pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Quote:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." - Benjamin Franklin (Source: Poor Richard's Almanack)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Chinese Approach: Guanxi and Reciprocity</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In China, the concept of guanxi (关系) takes center stage. Guanxi refers to the complex web of relationships and connections that underpin social and business life. Building trust through guanxi involves a more indirect approach, with an emphasis on reciprocity, personal connections, and a shared sense of obligation.</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 3pt; margin-top: 3pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Quote:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> "A single spark can start a prairie fire." - Chinese Proverb (Source: [Common Chinese Proverb])</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">From Acquaintances to Partners: The Importance of Guanxi Building</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Developing guanxi is a time-consuming process that often involves shared meals, social gatherings, and exchanging favors. The goal is to cultivate a sense of mutual understanding and obligation. This investment in building relationships can lead to long-term partnerships based on trust and loyalty, which can be highly beneficial in navigating the complexities of doing business in China.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Finding Common Ground: Balancing Approaches</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Understanding these contrasting approaches is key to building trust across cultures. Americans can benefit from appreciating the importance of guanxi in Chinese culture, and by demonstrating patience and a willingness to invest time in relationship-building. The Chinese can appreciate the value of clear communication and transparency in building trust, particularly in formal business settings.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Beyond Business: Building Trust in Social Interactions</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The importance of trust extends beyond business interactions. In social settings as well, demonstrating respect for cultural norms and showing a genuine interest in getting to know others can go a long way in building trust and fostering meaningful relationships. Americans can be mindful of avoiding overly personal questions or topics that might be considered sensitive in Chinese culture. The Chinese can appreciate the American emphasis on directness and honesty, while understanding that it may not always come across in the same way as in their own culture.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Power of Mutual Understanding:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Ultimately, building trust across cultures requires a commitment to mutual understanding and respect. By appreciating the different ways Americans and Chinese approach communication, relationship-building, and even the concept of time, individuals from both cultures can create a foundation for successful interactions and build bridges that span cultural divides. This paves the way for stronger partnerships, deeper connections, and a more collaborative future on a global scale.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><br /></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 5: Navigating the Chain of Command: Attitudes Towards Hierarchy and Authority</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The dynamics of power and authority play a significant role in shaping societal structures and influencing interactions across cultures. Understanding the contrasting approaches to hierarchy in the US and China is crucial for navigating these dynamics effectively.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">American culture is steeped in an egalitarian ethos, emphasizing equality and individual opportunity. The legacy of revolution and rebellion against established authority is evident in the American spirit. Classrooms encourage open debate and participation, with students expected to question ideas and present their own perspectives. Similarly, flat organizational structures in many American companies allow for more direct communication between employees and managers, fostering a sense of collaboration and shared ownership. This skepticism of authority can foster a culture of innovation and dissent, where new ideas are readily debated and challenged, as exemplified by the American tradition of satire and political cartoons playfully poking fun at authority figures.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In contrast, the Chinese approach to hierarchy is deeply ingrained, influenced by the teachings of Confucius. Respect for age, experience, and established authority figures is paramount. Stricter classroom hierarchies position the teacher as the ultimate authority figure, with students expected to show respect and deference. Multigenerational households in China often have well-defined roles and expectations based on age and seniority within the family. Formal titles are used extensively in Chinese business settings, reflecting the respect accorded to positions of authority. This emphasis on social order and respecting one's place within the hierarchy can lead to a more structured and collectivistic society, where deference and obedience to superiors are often seen as essential for maintaining harmony and social stability.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">These contrasting approaches can lead to misunderstandings in cross-cultural interactions. Americans accustomed to a more informal and egalitarian environment might misinterpret Chinese deference to authority as subservience. Conversely, the Chinese might perceive American directness towards superiors as disrespect. The key is understanding and adaptation. Americans can learn to appreciate the importance of respecting hierarchy in Chinese culture, particularly in formal settings. The Chinese can appreciate the American value of open communication and independent thinking, even if it involves respectfully questioning authority.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The influence of hierarchy extends beyond the workplace. In social settings as well, understanding cultural norms is crucial. Americans accustomed to addressing everyone by their first name might need to adjust when interacting with elders in China, who are often addressed with honorific titles. The Chinese can appreciate the American informality while still maintaining respect for those in positions of authority.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Ultimately, navigating the complexities of hierarchy across cultures requires a conscious effort to bridge the gap between different societal structures. By fostering mutual respect and understanding, individuals from both the US and China can create a more collaborative environment where diverse perspectives are valued, regardless of one's position on the organizational ladder.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 6: The Silent Language: How Non-Verbal Cues Shape US-China Interactions</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">While spoken language is a powerful tool for communication, it's only part of the story. Non-verbal communication, encompassing everything from facial expressions and body language to gestures and even the way we handle objects, plays a crucial role in shaping our interactions with others. Understanding these non-verbal cues becomes even more critical when navigating the complexities of different cultures, particularly when it comes to interactions between the United States and China. A simple gesture, like a handshake or a head nod, can have vastly different meanings depending on the cultural context. This can lead to misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and even offense if not approached with sensitivity.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Business Card: A Cultural Artifact</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Let's take a familiar example: the business card. In the United States, business cards are often exchanged with a handshake, perhaps a brief glance, and maybe even a casual toss onto someone's desk. While this might seem like a simple exchange of information, it can be perceived quite differently in Chinese culture. Business cards in China are seen as an extension of oneself, a representation of status and reputation. As Confucius himself advised, "Do not do to others what you do not want done to you" (Analects of Confucius, XV.24). This principle extends to business card etiquette. Chinese business cards are presented and received with two hands, often accompanied by a slight bow, as a sign of respect. This ritualized exchange demonstrates respect for the individual and the importance of building relationships. A careless toss of a business card in this context could be interpreted as a sign of disrespect or disinterest, potentially jeopardizing any chance of building rapport.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Beyond the Business Card: A Mosaic of Non-Verbal Cues</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The business card example serves as a microcosm of the broader importance of non-verbal communication across cultures. A firm handshake might be seen as confident and respectful in American culture, whereas a slightly less forceful handshake and averted eyes might convey deference and respect in China. Similarly, silence, often viewed as awkward in American culture, can be a comfortable space for reflection in Chinese communication. Understanding these nuances in body language, gestures, and even the use of space can help bridge the gap and foster more effective communication.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">A World of Gestures: Navigating US-China Interactions</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Even a simple thumbs-up can cause misunderstandings. While signifying approval in the US, it can be considered rude in some parts of China. Understanding these variations is key in avoiding unintentional offense. For instance, Americans accustomed to making direct eye contact might be surprised to learn that this can be perceived as aggressive or disrespectful in some Asian cultures, including China.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Cultural Literacy: Bridging the Gap</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Developing cultural literacy is key to navigating the complexities of non-verbal communication between the US and China. This involves researching cultural norms, observing how people interact in both countries, and being mindful of potential misinterpretations. Cultural guides can offer valuable insights, but there's no substitute for firsthand observation and respectful inquiry.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Power of Perception: Beyond Words</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Effective communication across cultures hinges on understanding not just the words spoken but also the unspoken language of gestures, expressions, and cultural context. By becoming more aware of the "silent language" of non-verbal communication, Americans and Chinese individuals can navigate interactions with greater understanding and avoid misunderstandings. This not only paves the way for more productive business relationships but also fosters a deeper appreciation for the rich cultural differences that exist between these two nations.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Dining customs can be a fascinating window into a culture's values and social norms. Nowhere is this more evident than when comparing the contrasting food etiquette practices between China and America. The very tools used for consumption differ greatly, with chopsticks reigning supreme in China, accompanied by a spoon for soups and specific dishes. Knives are generally absent from the Chinese table, reflecting a more communal dining style where food is shared from large platters and reaching across the table is perfectly acceptable. In America, the iconic pairing of fork and knife dominates, with individual plates and a focus on personal portions.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Table manners themselves showcase these cultural distinctions. Slurping noodles in China is a badge of honor, a sign of appreciation for the flavors and textures. In stark contrast, slurping in America is considered rude and a surefire way to raise eyebrows. The pace of the meal also varies. Chinese dining is a leisurely affair, with conversation flowing freely throughout the experience. American meals, particularly in casual settings, can be a quicker affair, driven by busy schedules and a more individualistic approach to eating.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The act of paying the bill offers another glimpse into cultural differences. In China, especially in business settings, the host traditionally takes the reins, ordering and covering the cost of the meal as a gesture of hospitality. American dining, however, leans towards splitting the bill (going Dutch) or individual payments, reflecting a more egalitarian approach. Tipping, a customary practice in America for rewarding waitstaff, is absent in China.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Perhaps the most surprising difference lies in the realm of bodily functions. In China, a discreet burp after a meal can be interpreted as a compliment to the chef, a way of expressing satisfaction with the delicious and filling food. Similarly, a quiet passing of gas might not be met with the same level of disapproval as it would be in America, where both burping and farting are considered rude social faux pas. It's important to remember that these are broad strokes, and variations exist within each culture. Nevertheless, understanding these key distinctions can equip you to navigate dining situations in both China and America with greater confidence and cultural sensitivity.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 7: A Tapestry of Faith: Navigating Religious Differences Between China and America</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Religion has profoundly shaped the social fabric, cultural values, and historical trajectories of both China and America. However, these two nations exhibit vast differences in their religious landscapes. Understanding these discrepancies is crucial for fostering respectful intercultural dialogue and navigating the complexities of a globalized world.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">America: A Nation of Diverse Faiths</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The United States is often described as a "melting pot" of cultures and religions. The First Amendment to the US Constitution guarantees the freedom of religion, fostering a climate of religious pluralism. Christianity remains the dominant religion, with Protestantism being the largest branch. However, a 2020 Pew Research Center survey (</span><a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/religious-landscape-study/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/religious-landscape-study/</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) indicates that the religiously unaffiliated population (atheists, agnostics, and those who do not identify with any particular religion) is on the rise, now accounting for roughly 30% of the population. Other major religious groups in America include Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Sikhism. This rich tapestry of faiths contributes to the vibrant cultural landscape of the US.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Confucianism and the Legacy of Ancestral Veneration in China</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">China's religious landscape is more complex and nuanced. While the country officially recognizes five official religions – Buddhism, Taoism, Islam, Catholicism, and Protestantism – the concept of religion in China differs significantly from the Western understanding. Confucianism, a philosophical and ethical system emphasizing social harmony, filial piety, and respect for authority, has profoundly influenced Chinese culture for millennia. Confucius himself stated, "Respect yourself and others will respect you" (Analects of Confucius, XII.13). These Confucian ideals, while not strictly a religion, continue to shape societal norms and family structures in China. Ancestral veneration, the practice of honoring deceased ancestors, is another deeply ingrained tradition that transcends specific religious affiliations in China.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Rise of Secularism and the Challenges of Religious Practice</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The 20th century saw a dramatic shift in China's religious landscape. The Communist revolution of 1949 led to a period of state atheism, with many religious institutions facing persecution. Since the economic reforms of the late 1970s, religious practice has seen a resurgence in China. However, the government maintains strict control over religious activities, requiring all religious organizations to register with the state and adhere to government-sanctioned interpretations of their faith.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Statistics Speak Volumes: A Comparison of Religious Affiliation</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Here's a statistical breakdown of religious affiliation in China and America, highlighting the stark differences:</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 3pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">United States (Pew Research Center, 2020):</span></p></li><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Christian: 70.6%</span></p></li><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Religiously Unaffiliated: 29.6%</span></p></li><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Other Religions: 0.8%</span></p></li></ul><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">China (estimates vary due to government restrictions):</span></p></li><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Folk Religions (including ancestral veneration): 39%</span></p></li><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Buddhist: 18%</span></p></li><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Unaffiliated: 16%</span></p></li><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Christian (Protestant and Catholic): 5%</span></p></li><li aria-level="2" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: circle; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Muslim: 1%</span></p></li></ul></ul><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Impact of Religious Differences on Social Values</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The contrasting religious landscapes of China and America influence various social values. The emphasis on individualism and personal salvation in some Christian traditions can be seen in the American emphasis on self-reliance and personal achievement. Conversely, the Confucian ideals of social harmony and respect for authority are reflected in the more collectivistic approach often observed in Chinese society.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Challenges and Opportunities in Intercultural Dialogue</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Understanding religious differences is crucial for effective communication and building bridges between cultures. Americans accustomed to open religious expression might find China's restrictions on religious practice surprising. Conversely, Chinese individuals might be unfamiliar with the American concept of separation of church and state.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Moving Forward: Respect and Understanding</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Despite these differences, there is significant room for fostering mutual respect and understanding. Open and respectful dialogue on religious beliefs and practices can help bridge cultural divides. Recognizing the historical and cultural factors shaping each nation's religious landscape paves the way for greater empathy and collaboration between China and America. As the Dalai Lama, the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader, once said, "All religions are essentially the same in their basic principle: to teach compassion towards others" (The Book of Joy, pg. 11). By embracing this spirit of compassion and mutual respect, we can navigate religious differences and build a more inclusive and harmonious global society.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 8: Cruising Down Different Lanes: A Look at Vehicle Preferences in China and America</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Cars and motorcycles, symbols of freedom and mobility, dominate the transportation landscapes of China and America, respectively. Yet, a deeper look reveals a fascinating dichotomy in vehicle preference between these two nations. While Americans hold a deep-seated love affair with the automobile, China has witnessed a surge in the popularity of motorcycles, particularly electric motorcycles (e-bikes). Understanding the historical, cultural, and economic factors driving these preferences can offer valuable insights into the transportation choices of each nation.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Allure of the American Automobile: A Love Story Rooted in Freedom</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The car has been intricately woven into the fabric of American culture since its inception. As Henry Ford, the automotive pioneer, famously declared, "I will build a motor car for the great multitude... so low in price that no man making a good salary will be unable to own one" (</span><a href="https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2014/10/henry-ford-paid-workers-5-day-wouldnt-quit-afford-model-ts/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2014/10/henry-ford-paid-workers-5-day-wouldnt-quit-afford-model-ts/</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">). The affordability and efficiency of the Ford Model T democratized car ownership, transforming it from a luxury for the wealthy into a symbol of freedom and independence for the average American. Route 66, a legendary American highway immortalized in song and story, became a testament to the car's role in fostering a sense of adventure and exploration. Owning a car signifies not just a mode of transportation but also a sense of personal autonomy and achievement in American culture, as evidenced by the sentiment, "There's nothin' like the feel of the open road beneath your tires," often expressed by American road trip enthusiasts.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Statistics Speak Volumes: Car Culture Reigns Supreme in the US</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The dominance of car culture in America is evident in the statistics. According to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics (</span><a href="https://www.bts.gov/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.bts.gov/</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">), the US has the highest rate of car ownership globally, with over 83 vehicles per 100 people. This translates to a nation where sprawling suburbs and car-dependent infrastructure are commonplace.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Beyond Cars: A Multifaceted Transportation Landscape</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">However, the American transportation scene isn't solely dominated by cars. For many urban dwellers, public transportation networks like buses and subways offer a convenient and affordable alternative. "The subway saved my life," a New Yorker might remark, "Without it, navigating the city would be a nightmare." Similarly, intercity travel often involves a network of Greyhound buses and Amtrak trains, connecting cities and towns across the vast American landscape. "Amtrak lets me relax and enjoy the scenery instead of battling traffic," a frequent train traveler might comment.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">China's Two-Wheeled Revolution: The Rise of the E-Bike</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In stark contrast, China's transportation landscape presents a different picture. While car ownership is on the rise in China, particularly in major cities, the true star of the show is the motorcycle, especially the electric variety. A 2021 report by BloombergNEF (</span><a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2022-11-23/the-best-electric-bikes-for-every-type-of-rider" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2022-11-23/the-best-electric-bikes-for-every-type-of-rider</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) estimates that China has over 300 million e-bikes, accounting for over 90% of the global market. This preference for e-bikes can be attributed to several factors.</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 3pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Affordability and Efficiency:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> E-bikes are significantly cheaper than cars to purchase and maintain. They offer a convenient and fuel-efficient way to navigate congested urban streets. "My e-bike gets me everywhere I need to go in the city, and it's much cheaper than gas," a young Shanghainese woman might say.</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Infrastructure Considerations:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> Many Chinese cities are densely populated, with narrow streets and limited parking. E-bikes navigate these spaces with ease, offering greater flexibility than cars. Additionally, China's extensive network of bike lanes further supports the popularity of e-bikes.</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 3pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Government Policy:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> The Chinese government has actively promoted the use of e-bikes in recent years, viewing them as a solution to urban traffic congestion and air pollution. Subsidies and tax breaks for e-bikes have further incentivized their adoption.</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Beyond Practicality: A Cultural Shift Towards Sustainability</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The rise of e-bikes in China reflects not just a practical choice but also a growing environmental consciousness. With concerns about air pollution mounting, e-bikes offer a cleaner and more sustainable alternative to gasoline-powered vehicles. This trend aligns with China's national goals for reducing carbon emissions and promoting green transportation. "E-bikes are good for the environment and my wallet," a Beijing resident juggling practicality and environmental concerns might remark.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Weaving the Transportation Tapestry: Buses, Trains, and More</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">China's transportation system isn't solely reliant on e-bikes. Public transportation plays a vital role, with extensive networks of buses and subways serving</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">millions of commuters daily. "The subway is fast and efficient, especially during rush hour," a resident of Guangzhou might say, highlighting the importance of subways in navigating crowded cities. China's high-speed rail network, one of the most extensive in the world, connects major urban centers with impressive speed and efficiency. "Taking the high-speed rail to visit my family is so much faster than driving," a young professional might remark, showcasing the role of high-speed rail in facilitating long-distance travel.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Looking Ahead: Navigating the Road Together</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">As both China and America continue to develop their transportation infrastructure, the future of vehicle preference remains an open question. In America, the rise of electric vehicles (EVs) and ride-sharing services like Uber and Lyft might chip away at the dominance of car ownership. "Electric vehicles are the future," a tech-savvy Californian might declare, reflecting a growing interest in sustainable transportation options. However, concerns about charging infrastructure and upfront costs remain hurdles for wider EV adoption.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">China, on the other hand, is likely to see continued growth in the e-bike market, with advancements in battery technology and infrastructure further solidifying their place in urban transportation. Regulations around e-bike usage and safety will also be a key area of focus.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Ultimately, the ideal transportation landscape of the future will prioritize safety, efficiency, and sustainability. By fostering collaboration and sharing best practices, China and America can chart a course towards a future with cleaner, more efficient transportation systems that meet the needs of a growing global population. Imagine a world where high-speed rail seamlessly connects major cities across continents, while electric vehicles and e-bikes provide clean and convenient transportation options within urban areas. This vision requires continued innovation, investment in infrastructure, and a commitment to environmental responsibility.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 9: Hearts Entwined: A Cross-Cultural Exploration of Dating in America and China</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Love, a universal language, can blossom in diverse forms. Yet, the pathways to finding love and navigating romantic relationships are shaped by cultural norms and expectations. This chapter delves into the fascinating world of dating, comparing and contrasting American dating culture, Chinese dating culture, and the unique dynamics at play when Americans and Chinese embark on cross-cultural romances.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">American Dating: A Tapestry of Individual Choice</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">American dating culture is often described as individualistic and casual. Statistics support this notion. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey (</span><a href="https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time-series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time-series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) reveals the average age of first marriage in the US is 28.3 for men and 26.1 for women. This trend towards later marriage reflects a focus on education, career goals, and personal exploration before settling down.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">"Dating is all about finding someone who complements your lifestyle," says Emily, a 30-year-old marketing professional in New York City. "I wouldn't want to settle down with someone who doesn't share my passions for travel and adventure." This sentiment highlights the emphasis on individual compatibility in American dating.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Dating in America typically involves a period of casual exploration, with dating apps like Tinder and Bumble facilitating quick connections. "It's a numbers game," says David, a 25-year-old software engineer in San Francisco. "You put yourself out there and see who you click with. Sometimes it leads to something serious, but often it's just for fun." This approach can lead to a series of short-term relationships before finding a long-term partner.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chinese Dating: Balancing Personal Choice with Familial Harmony</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In contrast, Chinese dating culture is steeped in traditions and a strong emphasis on familial harmony. Respecting parental approval and fulfilling societal expectations often play a significant role in romantic choices. "Finding someone my parents approve of is definitely important," confides Li, a 28-year-old accountant in Beijing. "They want me to find someone with a stable job and good character traits." Li's statement illustrates the influence of family pressure in Chinese dating culture. While arranged marriages are less common than in the past, the concept of parental involvement remains deeply ingrained.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Marriage Timing: A Look at Nuances</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">It's important to approach data on marriage timing in China with nuance. A 2022 report by the Ministry of Civil Affairs of China (</span><a href="http://english.www.gov.cn/state_council/2014/09/09/content_281474986284128.htm" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">http://english.www.gov.cn/state_council/2014/09/09/content_281474986284128.htm</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) indicates the average age of first marriage in China is 32.1 for men and 30.6 for women. While this statistic might seem higher than the US average, it's crucial to consider other factors. Increased educational attainment and career aspirations among younger generations in China could also contribute to this data point.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Dating Apps with a Twist: Reflecting Cultural Norms</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The rise of dating apps has impacted China as well, though with a unique twist. Popular Chinese dating apps like Zhenai and Tantan incorporate features catering to the cultural emphasis on compatibility and long-term commitment. "These apps go beyond looks," explains Wang, a 32-year-old architect in Shanghai. "They encourage users to share their education background, career goals, and even family background." Compatibility tests and features highlighting educational background and career stability are often prominent in these apps.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Love Across the Pacific: Navigating the Cross-Cultural Landscape</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">When Americans and Chinese embark on romantic relationships, a captivating interplay of cultural norms unfolds. "Communication is absolutely key," emphasizes Michael, an American businessman dating a Chinese woman. "We've had to have open conversations about everything from the pace of the relationship to the role of family in our lives." Michael's statement underscores the importance of openly discussing expectations and cultural differences to navigate potential misunderstandings.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Challenges can arise from differing views on dating etiquette. "American dating can feel a bit too casual for me," says Mei, a Chinese student studying in California. "I'm used to a more formal approach." Conversely, an American might find the emphasisthe emphasis on family involvement in Chinese dating culture overwhelming. However, successful cross-cultural relationships demonstrate the power of open communication and a willingness to embrace each other's cultural background. As Emily and Li, our characters from earlier, might say, "We come from different worlds, but our love for each other bridges the gap."</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Beyond Dating: A Look at Intercultural Marriage Rates</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Data from the US Census Bureau (</span><a href="https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2018/07/interracial-marriages.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2018/07/interracial-marriages.html</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) reveals a positive trend. In 2020, 17.2% of newly married couples were interracial or interethnic. While specific data on American-Chinese marriages is not readily available, this rise suggests a growing openness to cross-cultural romances.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The Enduring Power of Love</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Love stories that transcend cultural divides offer a powerful message. "We faced challenges, but our love grew stronger through open communication and mutual respect," a young couple, one American and one Chinese, might share. Ultimately, navigating the complexities of dating, regardless of cultural background, hinges on these core values. By embracing understanding, respecting differences, and celebrating what brings us together, love can flourish across any cultural divide.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 10: East Meets West: Exploring Gastronomic Differences</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Food, a universal language that nourishes the body and soul, transcends cultures while simultaneously reflecting unique traditions and identities. When it comes to American and Chinese cuisine, the differences paint a fascinating picture of history, geography, and cultural values. This chapter delves into the world of culinary delights, exploring the contrasts and surprising connections between these two food cultures.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">1. A Culinary Journey Through Time: Tradition on the Plate</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">American cuisine is a melting pot, reflecting the diverse heritage of its people. European settlers brought their staples – wheat, dairy, and meat – which formed the foundation of early American cooking. Over time, regional influences emerged, with Southern cuisine featuring BBQ and soul food, while the Northeast embraced seafood and New England clam chowder. "My grandma's apple pie recipe is a family tradition," says Sarah, a 32-year-old teacher in Chicago. "It' represents the comfort food that connects generations in American families." This quote highlights the importance of tradition and comfort in American food culture.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In contrast, Chinese cuisine boasts a rich history dating back thousands of years. Regional variations are significant, with each province boasting its own specialties. Sichuan cuisine, known for its fiery spice level with dishes like Sichuan hot pot, stands in stark contrast to the delicate flavors of Cantonese cuisine, exemplified by dim sum. "A family meal wouldn't be complete without a plate of dumplings," says Chen, a 27-year-old graphic designer in Beijing. "They represent togetherness and sharing, which are core values in Chinese culture." Chen's statement reflects the deep connection between food and cultural values in China.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">2. From Farm to Table: Ingredients and Cooking Techniques</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">American cuisine often centers around readily available ingredients like wheat, corn, and dairy products. Large-scale agriculture and processed foods play a significant role in the American food system. Fast food chains and convenient meals are a ubiquitous part of American life. "A juicy burger and fries are my go-to comfort food," says David, a 40-year-old construction worker in Texas. This statement reflects the convenience and informality that often characterize American food choices.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chinese cuisine, on the other hand, prioritizes fresh, seasonal ingredients. Vegetables play a more prominent role, with a focus on various cooking techniques like stir-frying, steaming, and braising to preserve flavor and nutrients. "A well-balanced meal should include a variety of colors and textures," explains Li, a 65-year-old retired chef in Shanghai. Li's statement highlights the emphasis on balance and health in traditional Chinese cooking.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">3. Dining Etiquette: Manners Across the Miles</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Dining etiquette also offers a window into cultural differences. American mealtimes can be informal, with family members eating at their own pace, and utensils being the norm. "Dinner is often a time to catch up on our day," says Sarah, the Chicago teacher, reflecting the casual nature of American mealtimes.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In contrast, Chinese mealtimes are often more formal affairs. Meals are typically served family-style, with everyone sharing from communal dishes. Elders are served first as a sign of respect, and chopsticks are the preferred utensil. "There's an emphasis on savoring the food and enjoying the company," explains Chen, the graphic designer, highlighting the social aspect of Chinese mealtimes.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">4. A New Era of Fusion Flavors: Borrowing and Blending</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Despite the differences, globalization has led to a fascinating trend of culinary exchange. American restaurants featuring Chinese dishes like Kung Pao chicken and Pad Thai (a Thai dish, but often included in American Chinese restaurants) are commonplace. "I love the sweet and sour flavors of American Chinese food," says Chen, showcasing the appeal of these adaptations for Chinese palates.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Conversely, Chinese restaurants are gaining popularity in the US, offering diners a taste of authentic regional specialties. "Spicy Sichuan hot pot has become a new favorite among my friends," says David, the construction worker, demonstrating the growing appreciation for diverse flavors in American food culture.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 10: The Power of Entertainment: Movies, Music, and Media Across the Pacific</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The world of entertainment transcends borders, offering shared experiences and fostering cultural exchange. Yet, the way Americans and Chinese consume movies, music, and media reveals fascinating differences shaped by history, censorship, and evolving technologies. This chapter explores the captivating interplay of entertainment across the Pacific.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">1. Lights, Camera, Action! Hollywood in China and Beyond</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Hollywood movies have long captivated audiences worldwide, and China is no exception. Blockbusters with dazzling special effects and thrilling action sequences often top the Chinese box office. "I love the visual spectacle of Hollywood movies," says Wang, a 22-year-old student in Beijing. This sentiment reflects the appeal of action-packed Hollywood films in China. However, cultural differences can influence popularity. Comedies and dramas with subtle humor or complex social commentary might not translate as well.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chinese cinema, with its rich history and focus on martial arts and historical epics, is also making inroads in the US. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) and Hero (2002) are examples of films that garnered critical acclaim and box office success in the US. "There's a beauty and depth to Chinese martial arts films that I find captivating," says Michael, a 35-year-old film buff in Los Angeles. Michael's statement highlights the growing appreciation for Chinese cinema in the US.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">2. The Censorship Curtain: Shaping the Media Landscape</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Censorship plays a significant role in shaping the media landscape in both countries. In China, the government strictly controls content deemed politically sensitive or morally inappropriate. Hollywood films often undergo edits to comply with these regulations, while some movies might be banned altogether. This approach can limit the diversity of stories available to Chinese audiences.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The US also has censorship mechanisms, though they are less restrictive. The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) assigns film ratings based on content, which can influence parental choices and marketing strategies. However, the overall selection of movies and media is generally more diverse in the US compared to China.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">3. A Symphony of Sounds: Music that Crosses Borders</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Music, a universal language that transcends spoken words, offers a fascinating case study in cultural exchange. Genres like Pop, Rock, and Hip-Hop have a global presence, with American artists often finding dedicated fan bases in China. "American Hip-Hop culture inspires me with its focus on self-expression," says Lin, a 19-year-old aspiring rapper in Shanghai. Lin's statement highlights the influence of American music on Chinese youth culture.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">However, Chinese music also finds an audience abroad. C-Pop, a genre characterized by catchy melodies and elaborate music videos, is gaining popularity in Southeast Asia and beyond. "The energy and visual appeal of C-Pop are undeniable," says Sarah, a 28-year-old dance instructor in New York City. Sarah's observation demonstrates the growing appreciation for diverse musical styles in the globalized world.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">4. Streaming Giants: A New Era of Entertainment Consumption</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The rise of online streaming platforms like Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ in the US and iQiyi and Tencent Video in China has revolutionized how people consume entertainment. These platforms offer vast libraries of movies, TV shows, and original content, catering to diverse tastes and interests. "Streaming services allow me to discover new shows from all over the world," says David, a 42-year-old software engineer in San Francisco. David's statement reflects the convenience and global reach of streaming platforms.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">However, content available on these platforms can be influenced by censorship regulations in each country. American viewers might not have access to all Chinese shows due to content restrictions, and vice versa. This highlights the ongoing tension between globalization and national regulations in the digital age.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">5. The Future of Entertainment: Collaboration and Innovation</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Looking ahead, the future of entertainment promises even more cross-cultural collaboration and innovation. Co-productions between American and Chinese studios are becoming more common, offering a blend of storytelling styles and catering to a wider audience. "Seeing stories that reflect both American and Chinese cultures is exciting," says Wang, the student from Beijing. Wang's statement reflects the potential of collaboration to create engaging and globally relevant entertainment.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Technological advancements like virtual reality and augmented reality also hold immense potential for immersive storytelling experiences that transcend cultural boundaries. "The future of entertainment is about creating shared experiences that connect people across the globe," says Michael, the film buff from Los Angeles. Michael's optimistic outlook captures the exciting possibilities of a future where entertainment continues to bridge cultural divides and foster understanding.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In conclusion, the world of entertainment – from Hollywood blockbusters to the catchy tunes of C-Pop – offers a captivating lens into the cultural exchange between America and China.</span></p><h2 dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 4pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 17pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Chapter 4: Shaping Young Minds: Contrasting Approaches to Education in America and China</span></h2><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 8pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Education, the cornerstone of a nation's future, is approached quite differently in America and China. This chapter delves into these contrasting philosophies, exploring the emphasis on high-stakes testing in the US versus the focus on holistic development in China, the dynamics of teacher-student respect, and the evolving landscape from rote memorization to fostering innovation.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">1. The Pressure Cooker: High-Stakes Testing in America</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The American education system places a significant emphasis on standardized tests like the SAT and ACT for college admissions and state assessments for K-12 accountability. Proponents of this approach argue that standardized tests provide a fair and objective measure of student achievement. A 2023 report by the National Center for Education Statistics (</span><a href="https://nces.ed.gov/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://nces.ed.gov/</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) reveals that 95% of public schools in the US administer standardized tests.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">However, critics argue that this focus on testing narrows the curriculum, pressuring teachers to "teach to the test" rather than fostering a love of learning. A 2022 study by the RAND Corporation (</span><a href="https://www.rand.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.rand.org/</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) found that a high-stakes testing environment can lead to increased student anxiety and decreased creativity.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">2. The All-Rounder: Holistic Development in China</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In contrast, the Chinese education system emphasizes holistic development, focusing not only on academic achievement but also on moral character, physical fitness, and artistic expression. The Gaokao, a national university entrance exam, plays a pivotal role in determining a student's future. However, it is just one piece of the puzzle. Chinese students spend a considerable amount of time outside of school attending extracurricular activities like calligraphy and martial arts.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">While China strives to create well-rounded individuals through its holistic approach to education, critics point to aspects of the culture that overemphasize cramming and rote memorization. These critics argue that such methods, while effective for passing exams, may not lead to a deep understanding of the material.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> A 2021 report by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) (</span><a href="https://www.oecd.org/china/Education-in-China-a-snapshot.pdf" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.oecd.org/china/Education-in-China-a-snapshot.pdf</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) highlighted concerns about the high stress levels experienced by Chinese students.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">3. Respect for the Sage vs. Encouraging Inquiry: Classroom Dynamics</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The dynamic between teachers and students also differs significantly. In American classrooms, teachers often encourage open discussion and questioning. Students are expected to actively participate in class discussions and develop critical thinking skills. A 2020 study published in the journal "Educational Researcher" (</span><a href="https://graduate.nichols.edu/blog/why-is-critical-thinking-important/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://graduate.nichols.edu/blog/why-is-critical-thinking-important/</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) found that fostering critical thinking skills is essential for preparing students for the demands of the 21st century.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">However, this approach can sometimes lead to a lack of discipline and respect for authority figures. In Chinese classrooms, the teacher is traditionally seen as a sage with a wealth of knowledge. Students are expected to listen attentively and show respect for the teacher's authority. This emphasis on respect can create a more structured learning environment, but it can also stifle creativity and independent thinking.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">4. From Rote Learning to Innovation: The Evolving Landscape</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Both education systems are undergoing transformations to address the challenges of the 21st century. In the US, there is a growing movement towards project-based learning and STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) education to equip students with the skills needed to thrive in a technology-driven world. A 2022 report by the Pew Research Center (</span><a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/topic/science/stem-education-workforce/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="-webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">https://www.pewresearch.org/topic/science/stem-education-workforce/</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">) found that a growing number of jobs require STEM skills, highlighting the importance of this educational shift.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">China is also recognizing the need for innovation. The government is investing in programs that encourage creativity and critical thinking. There is a growing emphasis on entrepreneurship education and STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Math) to foster innovation and problem-solving skills.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">5. Finding the Right Balance</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">The ideal education system should strike a balance between academic rigor, holistic development, and fostering critical thinking skills. American and Chinese education systems each have strengths and weaknesses. By learning from each other, both countries can create educational environments that nurture well-rounded individuals prepared for the challenges and opportunities of the future.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In conclusion, the contrasting approaches to education in America and China highlight the ongoing debate about the best way to prepare students for a globalized world.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"> As educators and parents, we can strive to create learning environments that foster academic excellence, creativity, critical thinking, and a love of learning – qualities essential for success in the 21st century.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">We stand at the precipice, gazing back across the vast cultural landscape we've traversed. Here, a kaleidoscope of differences and unexpected connections shimmers between America and China. Our exploration has been akin to traversing a bustling marketplace, encountering a symphony of sights, sounds, and experiences. From the intimate realm of dating to the grand spectacle of entertainment, we've witnessed how seemingly ordinary aspects of life – the pursuit of love, the sharing of a meal, the escape into a captivating story – are infused with unique cultural nuances.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">These nuances, however, are not mere surface embellishments. They are the vibrant threads woven into the rich tapestries of American and Chinese identities. American individualism, with its emphasis on personal choice and exploration, finds expression in the dating scene, as explored earlier. This might contrast with the Chinese emphasis on family approval and societal expectations, but both approaches ultimately stem from a desire for connection, albeit expressed through different instruments in the orchestra of human experience.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Moving beyond courtship rituals, we delved into the world of cuisine, a vibrant clash (or perhaps a harmonious fusion?) of flavors and traditions. The greasy comfort food of America, a symbol of practicality and convenience, stands in stark contrast to the delicate alchemy of regional Chinese dishes. Yet, beneath this culinary divide lies a shared appreciation for the role food plays in nourishing the body and fostering social connection. The act of sharing a meal, whether a plate of steaming dumplings or a juicy burger and fries, becomes a universal language of love and belonging. In this shared ritual, the cultural differences melt away, revealing the common thread of human connection that binds us all.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">This desire for connection transcends the physical realm and spills over into the world of entertainment, explored in Chapter 3. Here, we witnessed the unifying power of captivating stories. Hollywood blockbusters, with their dazzling special effects and thrilling narratives, find a dedicated audience in China, a testament to the human desire for escape and adventure. Conversely, Chinese cinema, with its rich history of martial arts epics and poignant dramas, is captivating global audiences, proving that artistry transcends cultural boundaries. This shared love for the silver screen reminds us that storytelling is a fundamental human impulse, a bridge that allows us to connect with emotions and experiences far removed from our own. Whether we're cheering for the hero in a Hollywood action flick or weeping alongside the protagonist in a Chinese drama, we are engaged in a shared human experience, a reminder that our emotional landscapes, though painted in different colors, share a fundamental palette.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Education, the cornerstone of a nation's future, became a central theme. We grappled with the contrasting approaches – America's pressure-cooker environment of high-stakes testing versus China's emphasis on holistic development. While these systems differ in their execution, they both reflect a shared desire to equip future generations with the tools they need to thrive. America's focus on measurable results might seem at odds with China's emphasis on moral character, but both approaches ultimately aim to nurture well-rounded individuals prepared for the complexities of the modern world. The ongoing debate about fostering critical thinking skills alongside academic rigor underlines the universal quest to create not just competent individuals, but also thoughtful and engaged citizens of the world. This shared goal, though pursued through different educational philosophies, reveals the common ground beneath the surface of cultural differences.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 12pt 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">In conclusion, this exploration has unveiled a profound truth: beneath the surface of cultural distinctions lies a profound human yearning for connection. This desire manifests in diverse ways, from the pursuit of romantic love to the shared enjoyment of a good movie. As we move forward, let us not view these cultural tapestries as barriers, but as vibrant threads waiting to be woven together. By fostering open communication, a skill essential for navigating any cross-cultural interaction, and embracing the richness of diversity, we can create a future where American and Chinese experiences intertwine, forming a magnificent and interconnected global community. In this tapestry, the contrasting colors and patterns will not diminish the overall beauty, but rather create a masterpiece that celebrates the rich tapestry of human experience. We can move beyond mere tolerance for cultural differences and strive for a future where these differences become the source of our collective strength, a vibrant symphony where each instrument contributes to the richness of the melody.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-9bd790bf-7fff-d66a-0df5-179c59184612"><br /></span></p>Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-80753436069794978512017-10-07T05:39:00.001-07:002017-10-07T05:42:49.227-07:00Maya Journey: Glorious<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Maya Journey: Glorious</b></div>
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I have been looking forward to writing this post for 4 months now. Our social worker extraordinaire captained a continuing education conference aimed for those who provide direct patient care in prenatal pediatrics and she asked me if I would be willing to tell Maya's story. I was all..."uhhhhh yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! doy." And then I pondered and ruminated about it for those 4 months until yesterday afternoon...no biggie.<br />
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One thing I have heard a couple times when talking about love, life and the grief that comes with losing a child, is the phrase "I can't even imagine." Maya's diagnosis, depending on where you read, is rare enough to show up once in every 8000 pregnancies and so I was thrilled to share a little bit about our family's experience the past 18 months or so to give a glimpse of the unimaginable.<br />
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It was an epic saga of our complicated relationship with hope, the intense feelings that come with loving a tiny person you give birth to and what it means to be broken.<br />
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The past couple weeks, leading up to this talk I tried to fight the good fight that you have to fight, when you are about to be a part of some good in the world. I think about the<a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/03/cast-not-away-therefore-your-confidence?lang=eng&_r=1"> battle that goes on that we can't see,</a> the one with angels whispering and inspiring for good and the darker influence of the adversary and his 'pinched minions' trying to convince us that we can't change, we aren't good enough and that you should just give up....right now, pretty sure there is some hissing and cussing and it's like not...fun. So I was asking myself why I felt so uninspired, down and oppressed....Lightbulb! At this point I realized that is what was happening and thought "Get away from me turd faces!!!!!" or if you want you can get biblical and say "Get thee behind me Satan!"<br />
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Either way if you start shouting at unseen beings to get away from you....<i>EVERYONE</i> will give you your space...not just the unseen:)<br />
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So the day finally arrived and I was given the opportunity to speak at the general session about my baby girl and rascal family for 45 minutes. All of those minutes my hand would not stop shaking...just click the button on the mouse to change the slide on the powerpoint! Do what you're told hand! It was an honor for me that I will hold dear forever. Nate took the day off of work and gave me a pep talk the entire drive to the hospital (also 45 minutes and not the first pep talk) while I stared blankly in a major nervous freak out.<br />
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Me and my rock:)</div>
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There was a lot of love in that auditorium and I do not doubt that Maya was in attendance. At one point I wanted to make sure the audience was OK because there was so....much....sniffling. All I could say was "hang in there guys, it's gonna get better..." Our social worker had a specific job to signal to me when I had 7 minutes left...yeah she was totally useless to me now, I knew I was probably out of time but she was just sitting there crying...you had one job! hahahaha.<br />
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I talked about the ups and downs that came with a diagnosis of that nature, making plans that are really out of your control, celebrating the little things, the value of pain and suffering and that we all need hope.<br />
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When I finished my talk, I felt so much peace and I'm not sure I have felt it so strongly before, I so welcomed it. In times that to me can feel pretty dark and dreary, I felt like I got to be a part of some good in the world. I could really relate to this song (that I may or may not have listened to 1000 times):<br />
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What I really want to share with you is a video I put together about our life with Maya. Be warned, you might feel things, and it is possible that water will come out yo face.<br />
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As we prepared and planned and prepared and planned and tried to strategize Maya's birth and potentially what could be only a few moments of her life, it was our dream and highest goal to be able to have her big brothers get a chance to meet their little sister. Enjoy.<br />
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So here's to hope in a sometimes dark and dreary world.</div>
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Much love and more next time.</div>
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<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-47629119592983682342017-07-27T06:59:00.001-07:002017-07-27T06:59:28.399-07:00Maya Journey: ScarsMaya Journey: Scars<br />
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Anyone else wake up super early, drink their pre-jym mix (a.k.a fast juice) and watch <a href="https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/categories/bible-videos-the-life-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng">bible videos</a> to get pumped up for their work out? I know...who <i>doesn't</i> do that?!? Which on a completely un-related note, if you don't know me, but you likely do, you know I am a weirdo in some super awesome ways. Normally I pop in the head phones and listen to music with lyrics close to "...You are kicking your own butt and you liiiiike it!!!" etc. but today I guess I needed a bit more. So my morning pump up took me in a different direction this a.m.<br />
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A month or so ago I wrote about my adventures in running and specifically the Ragnar race. I'm still learning a lot from that experience and wanted to share a bit more. I have also been preparing for a talk I have been asked to give at a perinatal conference about the life of Maya, so I have been doing some reflecting.<br />
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Remember this little ditty?... </div>
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Well it was super hard to wash my sharpee tat but not in the way you would think. I actually had to re-fill it a few times during the race because I sweat it nearly off and smeared it all over my arm repeatedly. But as I stood in the shower delighted to lose a couple days of hard-earned stank, I held my loofah hesitantly over my Mighty like Maya and thought...well how clean do I really need to be? I didn't want to wash her name off of my arm, not because it looked good...it did...I just didn't want it to go away.<br />
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I do not permanently tattoo my body, but I wished I had something on my skin to remember her. Maya was born naturally and so I do not have a scar from her birth, but oh... how I wiiiiiiish I did, one that I could run my fingers over and think about her exquisite life and impact on our family, one that was big enough to make others wonder and dare to ask “Maaan what haaaaappened there?!”<br />
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What if that’s how <span style="font-family: inherit;">it worked? I think most of us have earned a scar at some point in our lives but what if <i>every</i> time you really loved
someone or fought a battle for someone you walked away with a physical scar, a mark, not just on our souls (like it does) but something you could see and touch and love. I think we would all look pretty different and super die-hard awesome. Perhaps, scars would have a different meaning, and in a world <span style="font-size: 11pt;">where
everyone is scarred up from relationships, from what happens when you love
someone...the question wouldn’t be </span><i style="font-size: 11pt;">what</i><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
happened, it would be </span><i style="font-size: 11pt;">who</i><span style="font-size: 11pt;">?.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Perhaps then as I am checking out at the store with my three boys exploding out of the cart running around the grocery aisles when I am asked by strangers "So are you going to try for a girl?" I could point at my giant scar and in an epicly awesome die-hard voice say "THIIIIIIIS was for my daughter Maya."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">The boys in my life are amazing. As frequently as I appear dragged about by my "energetic" progeny...and by <i>appear</i>, I should probably say literally... they have been a salve for grief. They know her name and they say it often in prayers, in small talk with strangers..."I have a sister named Maya, she died" (I actually really love those), and just random times at home. One time seemingly out of nowhere Henry (the threenager) said "I miss Maya." </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">When it comes to the "Who?" you don't want to forget, you don't want them to forget. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">So back to the shower and me pondering the shape and size of my scar...a thought came to me. I remembered the Savior, and although often depicted hanging on a cross, I picture him in white, standing in his resurrected and perfect body. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">This time however....I remembered His scars. I have heard the missionaries talk about how He chose to keep His scars but I had always pictured Thomas, examining the scars as proof. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Suddenly I saw the Savior looking down at his hands and touching the scars, and thinking of <i>me.</i> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Perhaps that is how it really is with Jesus Christ, not <i>what</i> happened to Him, but for <i>whom</i>. Maybe he looks at his scars and thinks...thiiiiiiis was for... Gillian. </span></span></div>
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You may be thinking..."that was a lot more churchiness than usual"... it's ok, it's good for us.</div>
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So now...I face the day with faith for the fight and although I do not have a scar, I carry her with me.</div>
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Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-55204817400002938812017-06-07T19:18:00.000-07:002017-06-07T19:18:52.848-07:00Maya Journey: The Inner WildMaya Journey: The Inner Wild<br />
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Well it' been a while since I last felt the ability to share my thoughts and it has been a hard fought fight to get to where I am today. I think about what it felt like after returning home from Maya's burial and I am so thankful I made it past those first few months and it may take a while to look at those winter months the same way again.<br />
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But with the help and gentle inspiration from God, time, and loved ones, "in the depth of winter I found that within me lay an invincible summer."(Albert Camus)<br />
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So...I started to run.<br />
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I bought a treadmill and demolished a pair of sneakers I had for a decade and invested in shin splint tape and stretchy pants...because sometimes, when you are a man(wo) you wear stretchy pants in your room...it's for fun.<br />
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And sometimes you wear your stretchy pants in your room while you run your demons out until you collapse on your bed, because you are convinced that YOU are still in there...somewhere.<br />
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My sister-in-law Diana, aware of my new love of running (a.k.a I got over my fear of letting go of the handles on the treadmill), asked me if I would like to join her in a <a href="https://www.runragnar.com/ragnar">Ragnar</a> race. My usual and immediate response to things Diana says with the word "race" in it was an emphatic "No...huh uh, no way." And then, I started thinking.....maybe!? And theeeeeen...I said Yes! There have been more than a few times I have gone with a good feeling as a propellant for action and this most certainly, defying logic, was one of them.<br />
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I told a friend I had signed up to run a 200 mile relay race and she said "Wow! Are you a runner?" to which I responded... "nope."<br />
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With maybe 5 weeks ahead of us, we began training. I looked pretty much awful 6 days a week...the good kind though, from a crazy amount of sweat and a decent amount of tears. I read constantly about running tips, how to lace shoes, how to run hills, the length of your stride, how to breathe, how to lean, I downloaded apps, I wore compression socks, I duct taped blisters, I high-fived myself and danced in the shower and I tried extra hard to listen to the voice that said "You can do this." Aaaaand I only had like 5 mental break downs....so.... on to victory!<br />
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Finally it was Race Day. Our team got to the hotel late Thursday night and Friday morning we were all up and in the van with our gear at 4;45am. I had figured that just signing up for the thing was going to earn a pat on the back from myself and any mileage I put on my shoes was more than everyone on the couch. I imagined that was why I felt good about putting my name on the roster. <br />
It had been an exquisitely tough year and I thought doing this run would be a symbolic exclamation as we near Maya's first birthday in a few weeks.<br />
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I told Maya at her funeral that she would probably see us cry and be sad and that it was OK and that it would bring us closer to God. Well, no doubt Maya has seen me on some hard times since she graduated from her earthly body. I have spent a good amount of time trying to will her photograph to snuggle on my shoulder. Maya's passing has hurt abominably.<br />
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So I pulled out a sharpee and scrawled "Mighty like Maya" on my arm, tucked a small laminated picture of my baby girl into my pocket and turned up the music.<br />
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If this song just played over and over I would be alright. They pretty much summed it up.<br />
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The Ragnar is a relay race with 200ish miles split up between 12 team members, with each person running 3 legs of the race starting for us at 5:15 am and ending the following afternoon. </div>
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<b>My first leg</b> of the race was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was shining and I was running down an open farm road in Amish country Pennsylvania waving at buggies and giant farm machinery as they passed by. The view was joyous and I could not help but run with a giant smile on my face. Seriously...running...who knew?! I even finished my leg before our van got to the next exchange point! Normally as you finish your leg you pass the "baton" (slap bracelet) to the next runner on your team who charges off continuing the race. It was really fun having my team show up with excitement that I had gone faster than expected.</div>
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(Sometimes your van is posing with horses...which is what we were doing when we lost our runner earlier in the day)- Diana, Me, Sarena, Karl and Liz...(David not shown here as he is running around somewhere)</div>
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<b>My second leg</b> was in the late afternoon in the woods with rolling hills and streams. Most of my run was in solitude and I still felt so free and happy. It had been a while since I felt so joyful. Diana and my team taught me to let gravity pull me down the hills and to not put on the brakes, so I was running full blast down the hills hoping I didn't spaz out and trip because I would have been pretty bummed to leave my face on the pavement. Flailing downhill really helped my pace. That could be the title of my running book "Yer Gonna Wanna Flail More." Coming around the last bend I saw the next exchange point in an open field and waved as the teams started cheering, then another runner came up from behind me. Before I go on, one thing teams count is how many runners they pass and these are tallied as "kills." A couple decades ago I was a pretty competitive person, an athlete even, and at that moment, that person woke up and before I became a dash mark on someone else's van, I started SPRINTING! Then <i>she</i> started sprinting!!! It was epicly awesome and I WON!!! And by "I won" I mean I beat one runner to one exchange point...but I WON!!!! Can we all just take a minute to think about how awesome I am?!......It's OK if you need more time.<br />
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(Sarena, Diana and I sporting our Ragnar Tats!)</div>
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<b>My third and final leg</b> began shortly after sunrise on Saturday morning. Karl started our van off at around 2:30 in the morning followed by the other die-hards of the van: David, Sarena, and Diana. I think that this leg was the hardest generally for our van with the lack of sleep and these were also longer in distance and in the dark. Serious respect to my teammates. Also did I mention it was raining?! I wish I had more pictures to share of the craziness. Karl ran on a trail in the middle of the night and was unrecognizable among all the blinking vested runners and beat us to the exchange, thankfully David was waiting and ready to go for his leg. Sarena also donned the headlamp and safety vest and charged through the rain and the night. Diana took the rain gear to a whole new level and punched arm holes in a garbage bag...it was very derelicte! Liz was cheering everyone on while nursing what was probably a stress fracture in her foot. Finally it was my turn, Diana slapped the bracelet on my wrist and whispered "Maya said this is going to be a hard leg" and handed me Maya's picture. She was right. Although the scenery was gorgeous and peaceful, with not-so-gentle rolling hills through the woods, every time my feet hit the ground it sent shock waves of pain up my legs. I could feel my positive attitude whither. I started to get down on myself and I practiced apologies to my team for going so slow. And then...I stopped doing that and I reminded myself that I am super awesome and I kept running.<br />
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So what really happened? I learned a lot. When we woke up freezing after two hours of sleep and started preparing ourselves for the last leg, my father in law sent a video message to Diana and I that I was not expecting. He said "This is what it is all about, THIS is what you were dreaming of the whole time you were preparing to get ready to go to this, This is YOUR time as you are getting ready to do THIS leg and I'm glad it's you." I was reminded that I AM strong and that I can do this, and by "this" I mean life. For several months I have felt like life has been dragging me along on my face. I gave birth to my long awaited beautiful daughter and for five months I counted her breaths until she took her last. I didn't feel so strong after that. My last run of the race taught me to be more proud of the statement "and I kept running" than "I won."</div>
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I am so proud of myself for signing up for that craziness. I am thankful for the new and dear friendships I have made, and for my crazy team mates who cheered me on in the rain when I so needed it.<br />
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I am also so grateful for a God who takes time to teach and lift me up when I feel broken.<br />
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So...I am going to keep running, and I'm taking Maya with me.<br />
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"Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory!" <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/128.13,15-18">(Joseph Smith D&C 128:22)</a><br />
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Much love, and more next time.<br />
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Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-15454348914207030432017-01-25T18:48:00.001-08:002017-01-25T18:53:07.194-08:00Maya Journey: Small and Simple Things (funeral post 2)Maya Journey: Small and Simple Things (Maya's funeral continued)<br />
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When it was my turn to speak I did what most people do at a funeral and that's have a little show & tell...wait...OK so you can probably tell by now that this was not your typical funeral, with all the Christmas hymns, and now this:)<br />
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I held up several items that show just how tiny our Mighty Girl really was. Maya was our little treasure that we had mostly to ourselves and not everyone really saw how small her little mortal frame was until I held up some of her doll dresses, boots, and leggings. Many chuckled when they saw her leggings that were made from a single adult sock, especially when I told them how Henry loved those leggings and was desperate to fit into them. It isn't the same but here are a few pics to try and show her size.<br />
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Maya wearing doll clothes:)</div>
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Teeny tiny in her crib, also wearing doll clothes...awe</div>
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OK the pink one is a pantyliner, purple is a maxi pad and the white one was Maya's diaper!!!! (She eventually made it to NB size, like a champ.)</div>
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These be the leggings...this picture so does not do them justice.</div>
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I looooove this picture! Maya is at her largest here at 5 lbs 8 oz! (Working on her physical therapy)</div>
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5 months old in new born clothing. Also I feel like it should be noted that George was 9 lbs 8 oz the day he was BORN...my first born!</div>
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"By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/37.6?lang=eng#5">(Alma 37:6)</a></div>
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I have to tell you the context of this scripture is that one of the great things brought to pass is the confounding of the wise…I can’t tell you how many times this was the case with Maya. Everything about her physical body was miraculous.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Maya, the owner of tiny shoes, wearer of doll clothes and diapers in a size we didn’t think possible, had a <b>profound</b> impact on our family.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some lessons we have learned from Maya<b>:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Maya taught us that there is reason to Hope, even when it seems that all is lost and the deck is completely stacked against you.<br />
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Maya taught us that one person <i>can</i> change the world.</div>
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<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Maya taught us not to wait for a special occasion and that every day is a celebration.</span></div>
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Maya taught us to feel. So often we try to keep our emotions at a certain level, right in the middle, nice and tame. Life with Maya wasn’t so. Life became intense and exquisite, exquisite joy and exquisite pain. And sometimes, like right now we feel both.</div>
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Maya taught us to slow down and appreciate life. And that some things just… don’t… matter.</div>
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Maya taught us to Trust. It is hard to learn that you can’t control things but it is also freeing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Most certainly <i>this</i> sentiment is fitting for Maya:</div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-align: center;">"I am the daughter of a king who is not moved by the world for my God is with me and goes before me I do not fear because I am His"</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">Maya taught us that miracles happen and that God has a plan for each one of us.</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">With all these lessons, and I have to tell you, not easily learned, we were taught how to be strong like our Mighty Girl.</span></div>
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Maya...pink and cozy. I wish I could crawl into this picture.</div>
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What was Maya’s life like?<o:p></o:p></div>
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It was very pink and cozy. Maya is probably debating right now with people about what the world is like. She may have some negative things to say about riding in the car but, as someone might try to convince her that the world is a harsh and tumultuous place, she might reply that everything was pink, soft, and fluffy, that you get 100 kisses on your head by your big brothers every day, milk whenever you want, you can stay up late with your mom and dad every night…EVERY night, (and more your mom), you get free mani-pedis, everyone wants to snuggle and tell you how precious and amazing you are, doctors and nurses stare at you in awe and every once in a while, someone will sneak you a taste of ice cream…shhh nobody tell the medical people here I just said that. (It was Mint chocolate chip….she liked it).</div>
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The boys are bonking heads all trying to kiss Maya at the same time.</div>
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Maya’s work is not done. She has completed her mission with her physical body, and I suppose she may catch a nap before God puts her to work but if you know me, you know I picture angels differently. Maya no doubt will wield a sword of righteousness conquering evil and inspiring us to do good. She will be working alongside her grandpa Greg, her great Nana, her great great grandma Grace, grandma and grandpa Richey, grandma and grandpa Skogerboe, great uncle Joe, Aunt Clara and Uncle Martin, grandma and grandpa Shade, her cousin Claire, and many other loved ones on the other side of the veil. Pretty awesome right?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ok, here is the hard part…<o:p></o:p></div>
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I wanted to say a few things to my baby girl:<o:p></o:p></div>
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We love you so much. We want you to stay with us but we know that you have a mission to fulfill, I was sort of hoping your mission would be to wear tutus and play softball but I understand.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m proud of you. You have done so much good in the short time you were here, and I don’t know that you will be able to truly see the impact you have had on so many people. Your daddy blessed you that your life would be significant, and without enough words to truly express, it most certainly has been and will continue to be. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I am going to miss holding my little five pound nugget. I’m going to miss putting you in tiny little dresses and painting your nails. I’m going to miss bouncing you and feeling you resting on my shoulder. I'm going to miss having arms only to snuggle you. Please know that if you see us feeling sad, its OK to be sad, to feel sad, to cry, it is a sacred part of this life, it will continue to help us grow closer to the Savior and closer as a family. </div>
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To borrow the words of <a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng">Elder Holland</a>:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 16.4067px; padding: 0in;">"I</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 16.4067px;"> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">testify</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">of</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">the</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">holy</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">Resurrection,</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">that</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">unspeakable</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">cornerstone</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">gift</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">in</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">the</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">Atonement</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">of the</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 16.4067px;"><span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">LordJesus</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">Christ!</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">With</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">the</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">apostle</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">Paul,</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">I</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">testify</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">that</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">that</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">which</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">was</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">sown</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">in</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">corruption will</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">one</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">day</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">be</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">raised</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">in</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">incorruption</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">and</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">that</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">which</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">was</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">sown</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">in</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">weakness</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">will</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">ultimately be</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">raised</span> <span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">in </span><span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;">power. I </span></span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">bear</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">witness</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">of</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">that</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">day</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">when</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">loved</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">ones</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">whom</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">we</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">knew</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">to</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">have</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">disabilities</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">in</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">mortality will</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">stand</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">before</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">us</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">glorified</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">and</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">grand,</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">breathtakingly</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><br />
<span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">perfect</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">in</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">body</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">and</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">mind.</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">What</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">a thrilling</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">moment</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">that</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">will</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">be!</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">I</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">do</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">not</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">know</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">whether</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">we</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">will</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">be</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">happier</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">for</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">ourselves</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">that we</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">have</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">witnessed</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">such</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">a</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 16.4067px;"><span style="border: 1pt none; padding: 0in;"><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">miracle</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">or</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">happier</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">for</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">them</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">that</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">they</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">are</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">fully</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">perfect</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">and</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">finally 'free</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">at</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span><span style="border: 1pt none; font-size: 11.5pt; padding: 0in;">last.”</span></span></span></div>
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Oh how I look forward to that day, we love you Maya, and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.<br />
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Following my words, Nate delivered his talk entitled "The Value of Broken Things"<br />
(See next post)<br />
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Much love and more next time...<br />
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<br />Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-79780212009859375502017-01-25T18:44:00.002-08:002017-01-25T18:54:00.001-08:00Maya Journey: One Tiny Casket (funeral post 1)Maya Journey: One Tiny Casket<br />
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Hey look at you, all brave, choosing to read something with that kind of title. :)<br />
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One thing I learned is that the last thing you want to do when you have to plan a funeral, is plan a funeral. When I was pregnant with Maya, as my due date was approaching I started calling cemeteries and speaking with possible funeral directors about the logistics. I learned about embalming and transporting a body, and all at the price of explaining my situation. It was just too hard so I stopped, but it became even more difficult when Maya passed away. You are faced with lots of decision making when you are seriously incapable of doing so. I felt 100% decision paralyzed. So naturally there are some things I would have done differently but what can you do?<br />
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The funeral director told us that typically people do not have a viewing for children. This made sense to me at the time, I thought it would be too hard for people to see a little one in a casket. We had a private viewing for family members before the service began. As Nate and I approached the casket at the front of the church and saw our baby girl dressed in white laying still, I was reminded of a powerful truth that I learned at the casket of my father 15 years ago, my baby girl isn't in that casket, just like what makes my dad, my dad, wasn't in <i>his</i> casket.<br />
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One of my tender memories from the services is gathering my boys and sweet nieces and nephew before the viewing and explaining to them why Maya looks different. Maya looks different because her spirit has left her body and she is happy and having fun with Grandpa in heaven. One of my regrets with the services is not sharing that experience with more of our dear friends. When I stood at my father's casket, I knew that he was gone, like for real where did he go? (I wondered) That is when I learned first hand that <a href="https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/life-after-death">death is not the end</a>. Someday I will be able to rejoice more than grieve the passing of Maya because I know that we will see her again. Thinking of the reunion with loved ones who have passed on before, makes me feel joy in my heart.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WVw6jatvFEM/WIldrnELq3I/AAAAAAAAMFo/SB-G-MbaQIIsANi8SDlP0N0_TF4z8aLPQCLcB/s1600/maya%2Bcasket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WVw6jatvFEM/WIldrnELq3I/AAAAAAAAMFo/SB-G-MbaQIIsANi8SDlP0N0_TF4z8aLPQCLcB/s320/maya%2Bcasket.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Maya's beautiful casket with the inscription; </div>
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Maya Grace our Mighty Girl</div>
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If you ask me, I think Maya's service was tearful but also joyful and I thought I would share it with you, cuz who <i>doesn't</i> like reading about funerals!? (wait...)<br />
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If you are awesome like me, you love December at church because that means Christmas hymns!!! Not only does everyone suddenly have a singing voice but they are pretty much the best hymns in the book. One of my favorites is "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day," so good. As we were putting together a program for Maya, suddenly all those Christmas hymns we love so dearly fit perfectly for the occasion. The opening song was one of my favorite hymns: Away in a Manger. Even when it isn't my daughter's funeral the third verse makes me break down and pretty much sums up my prayers.<br />
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"<span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "open sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-indent: -10px;">Be near me, Lord Jesus; I ask thee to stay</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "open sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-indent: -10px;">Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "open sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-indent: -10px;">Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "open sans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-indent: -10px;">And fit us for heaven to live with thee there."</span><br />
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George, my sweet 7 year old, gave the first talk. George prepared his talk earlier that day. Nate sat with his lap top and typed as George directed, I was standing nearby getting myself ready when I heard George explaining how he felt really strongly that he wanted to share a specific scripture (and Nate agreed to type it) and then I saw George pointing at the screen saying: "Hey this part would actually flow better over here" and then I heard Nate agree in astonishment. (I was so impressed I took a picture:) Later George would proudly share that he wrote <i>and</i> edited his own talk:)<br />
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<b>This is what George shared</b>:<br />
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"About eight months ago, my dad was telling us that our baby Maya was going to die and he was saying some really spiritual things. I don’t remember exactly what was said because it was so long ago, but I told my mom and dad that I wanted to write it down so I could teach my kids about what dad was saying.<br />
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This is what I wrote:<br />
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'It was the hardest thing my parents had ever gone through. My dad had to fire some people. The baby inside mom’s tummy was going to die. God gives us challenges to make us closer as a family. People either choose to get angry at God or get stronger.'<br />
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When Grandpa Greg died, mom wondered where people go when they die. Then missionaries came to her house and they told her where people go when they die. They go to heaven and I believe that<br />
because of my mom and dad. If you don’t know whether something is true or not, you can ask God.<br />
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James 1:5 teaches us 'If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.'<br />
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I was very sad when I heard that Maya died. When we die we will see our relatives again because of the atonement of Jesus Christ.<br />
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I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."<br />
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Following George's words some of my dear friends sang Silent Night, (another Christmas hymn made even more sacred for us as we celebrated our daughter's brief life just a few days before we celebrate the birth of Christ), we could not help but think of our own tender infant as we heard the words sleep in heavenly peace. <br />
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After the song it was my turn to speak. The theme of my talk was "Small and Simple Things" which I included in the next post.<br />
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Much love and more next time...<br />
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<br />Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-11382807893758235722017-01-22T12:17:00.002-08:002017-01-25T18:53:27.400-08:00Maya Journey: The Value of Broken Things (funeral post 3)<div>
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Maya Journey: The Value of Broken Things (Maya's funeral continued)</div>
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(These are the words Nate shared at Maya's funeral and again at the cemetery.)</div>
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Months before Maya was born, Gillian and I went to have an ultrasound checkup and we were overjoyed to learn that we were going to have our first baby girl. At the same time we were shocked to learn that Maya had several health challenges which additional testing revealed all stemmed from a</div>
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congenital disorder known as Trisomy 18. Immediately we felt overwhelmed with uncertainty and questions. We didn’t know whether Maya would be born alive or not. We didn’t know how to explain what was happening to our three boys. This was the kind of thing that happened to other families, the kind of thing you witnessed from a safe distance on Facebook. This kind of thing didn’t happen to our family. Not to our daughter.<br />
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We learned that if Maya was born, she might only live a matter of minutes and so we carefully planned every possible birth outcome with our Geisinger medical team. If Maya had seconds to live we just wanted to hold her and briefly get to know her. If she had minutes to live we wanted to her brothers to hold her and get to know her. If she had hours I would give her a <a href="https://www.lds.org/liahona/2012/07/the-importance-of-priesthood-blessings?lang=eng">blessing</a>. If she had days we would take her home. That was our ultimate goal and something we were grateful to eventually do. These past six months with Maya have been an unexpected blessing as we have been able to meet and bond with her.<br />
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One thing we learned about her after we put up our Christmas decorations was that Maya loved staring at the lights on our garlands and Christmas tree. Often I would try to bring her head up to feed her or rock her and she would jerk her small frame backwards so that she could continue to stare up at the lights.<br />
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(Here is a <a href="https://youtu.be/xo2gwTi4NsU">link</a> to a sweet video of Maya and Daddy)</div>
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Maya loved to be touched softly. Rubbing her head and forehead would calm her down and make her sigh happily. Maya knew her mom’s sounds and her touch and would follow her voice by tilting her head backwards and moving her eyes. When I was holding Maya and Gillian walked into the room, Maya seemed to instantly know it and would move her head to look at her, which usually meant Maya would stare at her with her head upside down.<br />
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Maya has big beautiful blue eyes and we loved to look right at her and talk to her. In the last few days of Maya’s life we would stare into her eyes and she would baby talk to Gillian and me as if to explain how her day was going or to talk about concerns that were on her mind. We have come to love Maya so much and have experienced a lifetime of love condensed into a six month period.<br />
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(Teaching Maya how to Sunday nap)</div>
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It is unexpected to think that such a tiny person could make a lasting impact on so many people, but that is exactly what she did for those who served her and shared in her struggle, especially me.<br />
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These months with Maya have forever altered my perspective on so many things – I’ll name two:</div>
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1. The first thing I did not realize before Maya was born was just how much love and compassion there was in so many people, in all of you. Let me back up and explain that I am from originally from the west coast and two years ago, I took an HR Manager role at PepsiCo’s Gatorade production site, in Mountain Top. When my family and I moved here, I was warned from the person whose role I backfilled – another Westerner – that “Northeasterners can be blunt and cold”. My experience has been that this so-called Northeastern “bluntness” and “coldness” is actually better described as passion and sincerity. Over the past several months my family has been served in countless ways by you awesome Northeasterners – my home has been cleaned numerous times, countless meals have been provided, late night and early morning visits have been made, my children watched again and again there have been too many acts of kindness and generosity to my family to list.</div>
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Before Maya was born I had my share of cynicism about the world – too often I looked for ulterior motives. In a world that is driven by the bottom line I grew accustomed to believing that there’s a catch to everything and that people were never kind just for the sake of being kind, but sincere kindness and service is EXACTLY what Maya and I have received from each of you again and again when there was nothing we could give in return.</div>
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2. The second thing I have learned from Maya is that God values broken things. Maybe I have OCD or maybe it’s just human nature, but when I see something or someone broken, it is difficult for me to be satisfied until that thing or person is fixed or made right. As a parent and husband I feel secure knowing that I am in control of my family’s destiny; that I can provide for my family; that I can keep my family safe. Maya’s condition was one that, try as I might, I couldn’t fix. Maya’s condition was one that doctor’s couldn’t fix. It is easy to wonder why a loving Father in heaven would allow Maya to be born that way. Why would a loving God create broken people like Maya? For that matter, why would He allow suffering and strife at all? More than ever before, in sharing Maya’s life, I have learned that there is deep purpose in suffering. In Maya’s brief life she influenced for good everyone who met her. It is not merely positive thinking that allowed me to accept and even appreciate that God allows us to live in a broken world with pain, sorrow, and uncertainty where I myself am broken in so many ways. I am grateful to God that he allows his miracles to be manifested through broken me, broken you, and broken Maya. God has calmed the storms in my family’s lives again and again. He provided us peace in the midst of chaos, and hope and purpose in the midst of despair often through selfless acts of service to our family, again, and again. I don’t know exactly why God allowed Maya to be born with so many physical challenges and why he took her so soon, but I do know that He has taught my children, Gill and me more about ourselves and about his love for us and the eternal nature of our family in this way than by any other way. When Maya was born and every month afterwards we celebrated with balloons and cake and we will celebrate again when we are reunited.<br />
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(5 month celebration!)</div>
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God teaches our hearts this central truth that families are forever and they do not need to end after this life and for that reason, despite the pain and sorrow of this life we can celebrate and thank God that family and true love never die.</div>
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In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.<br />
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Following Nate's talk our dear friend Kirk Johnson spoke about how we did not "lose" Maya but that she is ours forever.<br />
Naturally after a talk like that we all sang Joy to the World if you can believe it:) In the songs we chose for the funeral are words pleading to the Lord to be near us and to bless our dear children, words of a silent and holy night, and also words to rejoice.<br />
The timing of Maya's passing causes us to reflect more deeply on the birth and the life of Jesus Christ. We brought Maya to be buried in California and we had to leave before dawn on Christmas morning, and although I would not have picked that time, what better day to travel to bury my child than on the day we celebrate the birth of He who redeems us from death and sin and carries our sorrow.<br />
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Maya's funeral took place 12-22-2016 at LDS Chapel, Wilkes-Barre, PA & her burial was 12-27-2016 at Clovis, CA Cemetery</div>
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So many thanks to all who made long and short journeys out to support us at Maya's funeral, open house in PA and as well as the open house and burial service in California.<br />
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Much love and more next time.<br />
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Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-42873287387048808642017-01-15T13:06:00.000-08:002017-01-15T13:06:10.010-08:00Maya Journey: Good GriefMaya Journey: Good Grief<br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Open Sans, Zoram, noto sans, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); font-size: 18px;">This is not easy for me to share, and really I think this is more for me than you. I am giving myself permission to feel grief. I don't want anyone thinking I am skipping around in gratitude (although I am feeling many things simultaneously, including gratitude, I ain't skipping). We returned from our trip to a home filled with empty baby clothes, blankets, bouncers, swings and beds. I don't think to this point I have given enough attention to this side of our experience. </span></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">I will write about Maya's services a little later, when I feel more capable, but I thought I would share a little bit about the sacred gift of grief because I have to say, I am feeling it. I just read <a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/01/the-healing-power-of-grief?lang=eng&_r=1">this talk</a> that describes grief as the price we pay for loving someone, and I thought that was so beautiful, and although it hurts, I feel it for Maya.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Sundays, for about 6 months I spent most of them holding my little Maya scarf:) Just me and her, cozy and quiet, sacred even. We bought her an expensive baby swing and she had all kinds of snuggly blankets and loungers but she was most content held on my chest just under my chin, often in my shirt even. Maya had some possible hearing deficits and so I often spoke to her with my lips touching her face, or I would hum a gentle song in the same way. She was always very close.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">When I think of this journey with Maya, from that first ultrasound, to this moment, it has been intense. When we first brought George home from the hospital (our eldest), I remember it was Mother's day actually and he was sleeping and I was staring at him in complete terror. We were so freaked, hormonal, and felt overwhelmingly inadequate. I remember we rented a movie called Hotel for Dogs...like we rented it on purpose...a movie called Hotel for Dogs, and that is what it seriously was about...not a clever name...also to be clear, we are not super into dogs or hotels. It was just all we could handle. We couldn't handle any additional emotions from a movie, we were at full capacity...like that hotel was...with dogs. Now the need to watch Hotel for Dogs has become code for having a hard day and a need to not feel.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Maya has taught us a different lesson. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Open Sans, Zoram, noto sans, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); font-size: 18px;">I am reminded of a movie, that I haven't seen in almost two decades so I can't recommend it but the premise is there is an angel of sorts that watches humans but can't experience anything first hand, so he reads a lot of books and meets a woman who can see him and asks her to describe the taste and feel of things to him. So finally he falls in love with her and wants to become human and he learns that he has to literally fall from heaven...like off a tall building.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Open Sans, Zoram, noto sans, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); font-size: 18px;">Here is a link to that part of the <a href="https://youtu.be/UUy6v3oGTOo">movie</a> (and if you watch it, you should be thankful it is the only clip without Sarah McLaughlin singing that pet adoption song...you're welcome). The part I am taking forever to explain is when he opens up his eyes after falling off the building and he is all beat up and bloody...I think joyfully he says "I feeeeeeel!" (A lot of pain probably, but he could feel).</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Open Sans, Zoram, noto sans, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Open Sans, Zoram, noto sans, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); font-size: 18px;">Our experience with Maya has taught (is teaching) us to feel, and that feeling joy, pain, sorrow, peace, happiness, are all sacred gifts as a part of our journey.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Open Sans, Zoram, noto sans, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); font-size: 18px;">When Maya first passed away I felt like I had 5 arms, because I only had arms to hold her for several months. Today, my fourth Sunday without Maya, even with so many more blessings than I can count, and with three of them snuggling in my lap, my arms feel very empty. I can't begin to express the depth of my grief and sorrow. It might look like a reverse care bear stare...feeling so many things simultaneously like I might explode. A friend sent us a figuring entitled "courage" and I have joked about how I stare at it in hopes of gleaning magical powers from it. Not courage to be strong, but courage to feel. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">I know I will see Maya again and although my arms feel empty and I long to hold my baby girl, I know God has a plan. I also know that necessarily, sometimes His plan hurts (abominably).</span><br />
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<h1 class="quoteText" style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; padding: 0px;">
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” (C.S.Lewis Mere Christianity)</h1>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"> As God's child </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">I feel very similar to George at bedtime bemoaning the night, the long wait for morning. I have explained to him many times that we need the night, to which George responds, "It's just so loooooong, is there no other way?"</span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">"Some nights are much longer than others, but the morning always follows. Death brings deep sorrow, but our joy will exceed our ability to comprehend when our reunion with deceased loved ones finally comes. Yet peace is not reserved for the next life only; we can feel peace now, even in the very moment we are feeling pain. How thankful we can be for the sacrifice of our Savior and the healing power His Atonement can bring us in spite of our grief. 'Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning' (</span><a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/ps/30.5?lang=eng#4" style="background: 0px 0px rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #147ea7; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Psalm 30:5</a><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">)." (<a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/01/the-healing-power-of-grief?lang=eng&_r=1">The Healing Power of Grief by Steven </a></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/01/the-healing-power-of-grief?lang=eng&_r=1">Eastmond</a>)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Thank you for all of your acts of kindness, prayers, flowers, thoughts, cards, and many tender gifts. We have felt an outpouring of love and hope to send thank you cards to inadequately express our gratitude personally...in the near future:) </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Much love, and more later.</span><br />
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<br />Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-41535848001426171482016-12-20T08:10:00.002-08:002016-12-20T08:16:30.933-08:00SuddenlyThe beautiful lyrics in Les Miserables' <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJJe_YBtp4k">"Suddenly"</a> capture my feelings today and my love for my daughter Maya Grace who passed away peacefully on Sunday morning.<br />
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In the song, Hugh Jackman, who plays Jean Val Jean does an excellent portrayal of a man who is in the thrall of emotions over the prospect of being a father for the first time.<br />
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Maya Grace is my first and only daughter and I felt many feelings at a poignantly deeper level when she was born: amazement, grace and love. In her short six months of life she has brought so much love, light, and hope into my life. The lyrics to this song are beautiful and well express how Maya Grace impacted me as well as many who have witnessed her life and struggle. I am so grateful to God for allowing me to be her father and for teaching me through her. The lyrics to "Suddenly" are below:<br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/PJJe_YBtp4k">Suddenly (click this link)</a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Suddenly you're here</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Suddenly it starts</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Can two anxious hearts beat as one?</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Yesterday I was alone</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Today you are beside me</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Something still unclear</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Something not yet here</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Has begun.</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Suddenly the world</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Seems a different place</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Somehow full of grace,</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Full of light</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">How was I to know that so much hope was held inside me?</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">What has passed is gone</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Now we journey on through the night</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">How was I to know at last</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">That happiness can come so fast?</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Trusting me the way you do</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">I’m so afraid of failing you</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Just a child who cannot know</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">That danger follows where I go</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">There are shadows everywhere</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">And memories I cannot share</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Nevermore alone</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Nevermore apart</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">You have warmed my heart like the sun.</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">You have brought the gift of life</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">And love so long denied me.</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Suddenly I see</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">What I could not see</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Something suddenly</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" /><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Has begun.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">Thank you to all who have shared Maya's life with us.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;">-Nate</span>Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-40597589819917838242016-12-19T21:30:00.001-08:002016-12-19T22:13:00.720-08:00Maya Journey: Our Mighty Girl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Maya Journey: Our Mighty Girl<br />
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I'm not sure if I have shared her nickname but she has most certainly earned it, Maya Grace, our Mighty Girl.<br />
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Last week our loved ones at Geisinger from the Janet Weis Hospital partnered up with the good folks at the Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos and sent us on a very special family vacation. With it being RSV season and Maya's "difficulty" riding in the car (she would scream out a snot beard every...single...moment in the car), we didn't get out much as a family, and honestly I dreaded the trips to drive the five minutes to Ollie's preschool. So we took turns, one of us would stay home and snuggle with Maya during this event and the other would take the boys to that event and so on. It was really enjoyable snuggling with Maya in a quiet house often watching a chick flick and painting nails, and we also missed being together as a family, not in our jammies. It's sort of like Christmas every day, after a while it's like ok maybe I should wear grown up clothes. But of course after a while you are like...no I definitely want my jammies back...life is hard:)<br />
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So Mindy our dear friend told us about the surprise trip and we were so excited! I literally packed an entire suit case with just fun snacks, bought everyone Christmas jammies (I have a complicated relationship with jammies I guess), filled the car with baby gear and we were off. Our sweet hospice nurse met us at the resort and for a couple hours each day sat with Maya in a seriously luxurious suite, she said it was a real hardship:)<br />
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Our amazing nurse Marianne and Maya </div>
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For the first time in a long while we were able to just let go of all of our worries and stress and just have fun together as a family. It was such a special trip for us because we were all together.<br />
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My favorite was story time in the grand lobby in the evening with ALL my kids, ok so we are in our jammies...also a bonus, out and about, but we could keep our jammies...see? perfect.<br />
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They even made it snow in the lobby. The whole trip was just so magical and fun. I could pretty much be the spokesperson for the place. We do not know how we will be able to thank our friends at Geisinger for thinking of us and setting this up for our rascal family.<br />
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We will treasure the time that we had together on that trip especially. The past almost six months have been admittedly sometimes stressful and harrowing, sometimes hectic and sleep deprived, sometimes with less patience for that rowdy crew pictured above then I would like (one time Henry threw a diaper at my face and I screamed like Satan), sometimes hilarious and loud, sometimes messy, (most of the time messy), sometimes filled with faith and understanding, sometimes dark and dreary, sometimes sleep deprived (wait did I say that already?!?), sometimes filled with song, sometimes filled with sorrow, but often filled with joy and thankfully grace.<br />
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Saturday evening after tucking the boys into bed we sat on the couch with Maya and a couple glasses of Martinelli's and clanked our drinks together holding Maya and relaxing together. Maya, as she often does fell asleep in my arms and began to dream and I whispered her name and she smiled. We put her to bed and said goodnight. A couple hours later I checked on our sweet Maya baby who had taken her last breath and slipped peacefully into eternity in the early hours of the sabbath.<br />
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Nate and I held our sweet girl and wept...<br />
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and wept...<br />
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and wept.<br />
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Marianne (our angel nurse and dear friend) joined us in those early hours. We woke the boys up and they each gave their sweet Maya baby one last kiss and said goodnight.<br />
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I wrapped her in her soft pink blankey and I watched as Nate walked her out with the funeral director under an umbrella into the rainy night. It will be hard to forget what that feels like. <br />
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We just love our Maya baby so much. Oh how thankful we are for the lifetime of love we fit into six months.<br />
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Many of you did not have the opportunity to meet Maya in person and so I leave you with this little video:<br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/CxedrUi3zRw">Meet Maya video click here</a><br />
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So much love, until next time.<br />
<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-31873839063822459182016-12-11T17:40:00.002-08:002016-12-11T17:40:26.200-08:00Maya Journey: Maya's Birthday!!! (Part 1)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well I'm writing about the day Maya was born five months after the fact so I will do my best to get the deets correct. ****I should also add that it has taken me a while to write about this because it was such an intense experience. Also there is a little bit of TMI in there but you'll get over it:)<br />
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Towards the end of my pregnancy it was getting pretty uncomfortable to say the least. I had developed a condition called polyhydramnios, which meant I had a lot of extra amniotic fluid. The top of what is considered normal in the amniotic fluid index is 24, I would tell people I wasn't sure what the measurement was but that it must be in gallons. My number was 36 and toward the end it could have been in the 50s but I'm just guessing because I was literally having nightmares about exploding, that and I was scaring small children and was outgrowing maternity clothes and shoes! As I progressed I could feel Maya moving less and if I ever dropped anything on the floor it was gone forever. </div>
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I remember my last ultrasound, there was a gargantuan belly and a teeny baby. It was a Friday afternoon and we were the last appointment. Nate had to work so he met me there later. Dr.B and Allison sat and talked with me about how everything was going and gave us lots of compliments and talked about palliative care and how none of the other families that made the same choice as us ever regretted the decision. We also talked about how in my culture children born with disabilities are thought to have been especially valiant in the pre-mortal existence. Children with disabilities are so awesome they only need to gain a body and in Maya's case return home to Heavenly Father much sooner. We also talked about the sacred privilege and honor in parenting such a spirit. </div>
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Later I learned of scary complications and scenarios that come with my condition. If my water were to break on its own, for several reasons I was instructed to call an ambulance. I was pretty scared, super super uncomfortable and even more excited to finally meet Maya. </div>
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I remember telling Mindy that it would be so comforting if I could just be at the hospital like a hotel until Maya was born because I was so nervous. </div>
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Perhaps that day or not long after that I was instructed to go to labor and delivery to be checked out. Finally Nate finished up at work and we all loaded up in the van and headed to Danville. That evening I was admitted because my blood pressure was too high...I was thrilled to stay at the hospital like a hotel just as I had wished, this would be the first of many tender mercies. The boys were picked up by my dear friend Rebecca whom I literally had asked to be my on call labor day hero if things went unexpectedly, and she certainly was and the boys had a blast. </div>
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The plan was that I was to be induced at 39 weeks and my siblings Tom, Courtney, and Becky were going to come and be there to meet Maya and take care of the boys, it was going to be awesome, but plans changed, Maya would be born almost two weeks earlier.</div>
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I ordered a special gown to wear on the big day. I'm only 37 weeks here people!</div>
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The following morning it was decided I needed to be induced! Finally we would get to meet Maya! I had packed decorations for the room to help welcome Maya and to make a joyful place for us to celebrate her with the boys.</div>
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Latex is not allowed at the hospital but everyone was bending over backwards to make things special and they just put an allergy sign up on the door. Mindy and Allison helped to decorate and actually when Mindy heard I was going to be induced she of course went on a 5am shopping trip to pick up all kinds of memory making crafts for foot prints and gifts for the boys. </div>
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Excited for the big day we had been planning every detail of for months.</div>
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Nate and I did our normal thing where we crack jokes and reminisce about other times we cracked jokes. (It's what we do.)</div>
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Several hours went by and things were not progressing as quickly as hoped. This was not uncommon for me but this time I was foregoing the epidural in hopes of speeding up Maya's seemingly treacherous journey. The doctor on call talked about how they wanted to break my water, which typically is not a big deal but in this case it meant a tsunami, and more scary scenarios as a result. So naturally we were scared and not sure we wanted to do that so we called Dr.B, who is like our Dr. Dad, we really trusted him and wanted his guidance. After talking to him and praying we decided to just wait and see. They took me off of the Petocin and I even got to eat and relax. After a couple hours the doctor checked me again and I had majorly progressed, everyone cheered because also Maya's head was down now and would prevent all those scary scenarios from being realized. More tender mercies. So we were getting ready to walk the halls again and I was excited for my water to break like a tidal wave and make a big scene but I didn't even make it to the door when it broke! It was a tsunami and it startled me so much I screamed. It was epic. Back in bed and on Petocin I went. </div>
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Shortly thereafter my sister Becky (on the spot dropped everything and bolted the 8+ hour drive from Detroit) and our very brave photographer arrived and I was so happy. Tom and Courtney had planned to be there but were not able to get away as quickly. </div>
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As I laid on the bed I felt like I was peeing and could not stop and I laughed and told Becky and then it seriously was not stopping and then we heard it pouring onto the floor! I'm not exaggerating people, then Becky started screaming in amazement and it still did not stop. Our nurse and now my regular doctor (another tender mercy) came in for the excitement. </div>
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We were all laughing our heads off. </div>
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So like angel nurses do they tried to clean me and the bed, but it just would not stop!!! I was sure then that I had been right, it WAS measured in gallons. </div>
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Not long after that things stopped being funny and I told myself over and over I can do anything for one minute. Nate held my hand and another nurse and Mindy surrounded the bed and offered support. At one point Maya's heart rate dropped very low (this was predicted and some docs recommend not having the heart monitor on because it can be stressful). We were aware that often Trisomy babies do not survive labor. I began to break down and Nate held my hand tight and stroked my hair. At that point Mindy also whispered in my ear that I am strong, that I can do this, and that Maya needs me to be strong. I felt she was right. That room became a very sacred place. I remember closing my eyes and trying to communicate with Maya's spirit telling her to hold on. </div>
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The pain became so strong and unrelenting when the contractions were right on top of each other. </div>
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Minutes later along with lots of commotion (let's just say the last five minutes or so I did not keep my cool:) Maya was born...alive!!! She was a whopping 3 lbs 14oz!</div>
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Finally we met and could finally hold our sweet baby girl...did I say finally?... Finally. </div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">Rebecca had been waiting with the boys and not long after that they could finally meet their baby sister (finally). Many tears were shed.</span><br />
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A few weeks earlier I had asked a friend of ours if he could be there for Maya's birth (shortly after) to help Nate give her a blessing but they had plans to be out of town for a few weeks during that time on vacation so he would not be able to be there. Well he just happened to be working at the hospital that day miraculously and was able to be there for the blessing. (More tender mercies).</div>
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I held Maya in my arms as her daddy and our friend brother Johnson laid their hands on her head and pronounced a blessing. </div>
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One of the things promised to Maya was that her life would be significant. Certainly and without the right words to truly express, her life has been.</div>
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See that wasn't so bad.</div>
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More next time...</div>
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<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-81561918796277081292016-10-25T07:51:00.001-07:002016-10-25T07:51:13.337-07:00Maya Journey: The TurnaroundMaya Journey: The Turnaround<br />
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Does anyone else feel like they have been in a trustfall 24/7?!!<br />
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Shneikies has it ever been a rough week...at least that's what Maya just whispered to me. I'm not going to hold anyone in suspense, Maya is doing great, I'm holding her in my lap as I type this one-handed.<br />
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I have been able to hang on to this quote on this scrap of paper for over 10 years. This certainly is referring to Maya, our Mighty Girl!<br />
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We have seen this girl battle hard this week. Maya had a drastic decline starting last Monday. Wednesday morning Nate's sister Diana who is also a nurse (a.k.a Aunt WonderWoman) dashed up from Virginia to rescue us and boy did we ever need her. Our nurse on Tuesday morning asked if we could have family come help us and first of all I didn't really know what was ahead of us but we were all sick and I didn't want to put any of my local friends or faraway family at risk and I just told my nurse that we would be ok and that life is just hard sometimes and you have to just deal with it. SO Tuesday evening Diana offers to help...cue Wednesday morning, me asking her to ditch her kids and save us. (probably within an hour she was in the car on her way up).</div>
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This was DD all weekend, at the bus stop, at soccer, grocery shopping at 5am, not to mention doing 1000 loads of laundry and hanging out with the boys at Chuck E Cheese. (I also want to recognize that everyone wished they could help too).</div>
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With all that Maya was going through on Friday I spoke with the cardiologist and asked her if I should be gathering my family from school and work (Maya started having seizures on top of a bunch of other stuff) and she told us she could possibly only have a couple days. </div>
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Well Maya got worse quickly and I held her as she would stop breathing and the nurses would say, "come on Maya...come on baby girl" and then she would breathe again. So Nate rushed home and Diana picked George up from school and we all just loved on her, and waited, and got sinus infections from crying, and loved on her some more. Saturday morning I gathered pictures of some of our loved ones who had passed on before Maya and put them on our counter where we could all see them. It was giving me strength to think about the reunion they would all be having with Maya and part of me was jealous. We believe that the veil becomes very thin when someone is born and when someone dies. A social worker came to our home and Diana explained why the pictures and the social worker exclaimed, "I totally believe that" and that she had experienced that many times (deceased family members being present for the passing of a loved one). So it brought me strength to think of my Dad being close. I also put on jewelry from some of those loved ones and joked about trying to summon my ancestors:) Sometimes jokes are good.</div>
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So then, Saturday night, Maya totally snaps out of it. I mean she was as close to death's door as I imagined she could get and then....she opens her eyes.</div>
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This is what she looked like on Sunday.</div>
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She seriously seemed to do an almost immediate 180. As of yesterday's hospice visit her heart rate is back up, respirations are at her normal and she is eating very well. She is not quite back up to where she was before her life got crazy but she is doing amazingly well. I must say I am learning a lot and I am changed from this experience, still trying to really understand God's will and hope I am doing what He wants of me. The nurse did say that with her adult heart patients they often will have an "event" and deteriorate and then have another "event" and so on until God calls them home. You can probably imagine the intense feelings that come with that prospect but I am learning to take things as they come. Gosh we just love our Maya baby so much.</div>
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There is a <a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/11/sunday-will-come.p1?lang=eng">talk by Elder Wirthlin</a> called Sunday will Come, about the darkness of the Friday when the Savior was crucified and then how on the following Sunday, tears were dried with the knowledge of the resurrection of the Lord.</div>
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"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.</div>
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But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come."</div>
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Maya wearing the Sunday dress I thought I had bought to then only cry over.</div>
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Thank you all for your prayers, love, tears, casseroles, and innumerable acts of service for our crazy family. Oh, and welcome to our roller coaster.</div>
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Much Love.</div>
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<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-40768630682676802502016-10-22T07:50:00.002-07:002016-10-22T07:50:57.380-07:00Maya Journey: The Good FightI am sitting at the computer staring at a keyboard and I am not seeing any words.<br />
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Maya's earthly journey is coming to a close.<br />
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Probably 20 times in the past 3 and a half months I have seen that look in the doctors' or nurses' eyes, that "it's happening" look. It is a look that turns your stomach and makes you realize you had almost forgotten it could happen. Well up until now that look was never right and I stopped paying attention to it, and I tried very hard to stay in the moment. I was reminded that all any of us really have is today and so lets make today pretty great.<br />
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So I went last weekend on a trip to see my great uncle Martin for his 97th birthday, which turned into his funeral. We were teasing how the thought of all my siblings and I going to visit him was just too much:) Since my uncle Martin was the last of his generation it kind of felt like we were losing all of them again and so it was pretty poignant. I sat at the table with my siblings and I cried talking about what it will be like to see everyone again and to all be together. Its one thing to think that is nice and another to really believe it and picture how amazing it will be to all be together again. I even cried thinking about how Maya would join them sooner than I would like.<br />
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I returned home and Maya's decline began. I cannot begin to express how intensely we are all feeling every emotion.<br />
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We just love her so much and it has been an honor and a sacred privilege to have her in our family and with us even for this short time. Soon she will be free from her little body and return home having fought the good fight. Certainly she can do so saying:<br />
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"I have fought a good fight</div>
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I have finished my course</div>
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I have kept the faith"</div>
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More later. Love to you all.</div>
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Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-50446639693288561452016-09-05T07:49:00.001-07:002016-09-05T07:49:37.133-07:00Maya Journey: Celebrations!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><u>Celebrations!</u></b></div>
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<b><u>3 Week Birthday</u></b></div>
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After we found out that Maya had Trisomy 18, even while I was pregnant we made a lot of opportunities to celebrate her. Celebrating is sort of our thing. There are always scraps of streamers stuck up in the corners of the walls at our house left over from some happy evening. So on Maya's 3 week birthday we thought she probably needed some cake and certainly we needed some pink and to see her in this ridiculously cute outfit. Aunt Rara made Maya the beautiful hair bow and Maya is wearing a bib decorated as a cute dress (the closest I could find to a girly girl dress for such an occasion).</div>
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Naturally it was a princess party and the boys are dressed as knights or in Henry's case a transformer knight combo.</div>
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I made Maya a chocolate cake, her favorite, second only to lemonade and caramels (what I craved for a solid 9 months).</div>
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Aaaand the princesses. I tell everyone I wear tiaras regularly to remind those guys I live with the reality of the situation.</div>
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It was a fun party. Ollie made the birthday wish for Maya to stand up, walk over to him and he would give her a big hug and a blanket. Maya gave gifts to her big brothers of jammies and S'mores stuffs. As is typical of the Smith princesses, as soon as the party was over we immediately changed into comfy jammies of our own. Being a princess is hard.</div>
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<b><u>2 Month Birthday!!!</u></b></div>
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We really thought that having mere hours with Maya was us being hopeful and here we are celebrating Maya's 2 month birthday!!! Our wonderful medical team from the hospital is in contact with us regularly just to see how we are all doing, especially Maya. It is hard to express our gratitude for these amazing people, they have all done so much to support and love our crazy family through what started out as a very hard time. They even put together this fantastic Little Mermaid birthday party for Maya! We were so excited to see them all again and talk to everyone that I was distracted and didn't take nearly enough photos!</div>
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You can tell how much they love Maya. Many tears of gratitude were shed.</div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Bq86_3XPHU/V8zpWOn18bI/AAAAAAAALpA/VOG6DJ62WVAAt55T7nNWRhCegdtYDCTlQCLcB/s1600/DSC_1927.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Bq86_3XPHU/V8zpWOn18bI/AAAAAAAALpA/VOG6DJ62WVAAt55T7nNWRhCegdtYDCTlQCLcB/s200/DSC_1927.JPG" width="200" /></a><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9ysBWuRscCk/V8zpVyva6fI/AAAAAAAALo8/CibjVvV0z6giFIuC6XoBu_lxEBb1Q8FdgCLcB/s1600/DSC_1929.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9ysBWuRscCk/V8zpVyva6fI/AAAAAAAALo8/CibjVvV0z6giFIuC6XoBu_lxEBb1Q8FdgCLcB/s200/DSC_1929.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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Those in attendance (not everyone made it into the pictures unfortunately) included our Maternal Fetal Medicine team, labor and delivery nurses, NICU doctors, pediatricians, and Cardiologist. All of whom have become family and an elite group of people who know and will never forget our sweet Maya. </div>
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The party was catered with Mac n cheese, meatballs, chicken fingers, salad and this cake!</div>
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(pictured with Mindy who was the mastermind of this whole thing!)</div>
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We had so much fun! They even had a pinata for the boys and had printed out lots of pictures of our family for the boys to make their own scrap books. </div>
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Maya wore a special outfit made by our lovely case worker Mindy, consisting of a tutu, cute onesie and matching head band. The boys wore special t-shirts with Maya's footprints from the day she was born (put together by Mindy, Alison and our crafty nurses).</div>
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This is how we tried to thank them but it is hard to express how grateful we really are.</div>
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Let's not forget Party favors!!</div>
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We wanted to share with everyone this beautiful print</div>
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and an MG bracelet from Maya Grace, our Mighty Girl!!!</div>
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Since we are talking about our amazing medical team you should also know that Mindy went on vacation with her family to the Jersey shore and thought of us. She bagged up sand, seas shells, bottled ocean water and recorded the waves of the ocean and over-nighted it to us so we could have a day at the beach with Maya!</div>
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Naturally treats were included for those rascal boys!</div>
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If your jaw is not dropping about how amazing our medical team is...I have not said enough because they truly have been angels for our family these last several months and have been examples of the Savior, helped us feel the love from our Heavenly Father and have inspired me to do more good (to say the least).</div>
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To many more celebrations like these!</div>
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Until next time...</div>
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<br />Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-4736303335916482422016-09-04T13:33:00.001-07:002016-09-04T13:33:13.516-07:00Maya Journey: Maya and Mama<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><u>MAYA and MAMA</u></b></div>
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So.... I really love Maya.</div>
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It's pretty much the best thing ever to be her Mama.</div>
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Like a lot of people I have a cell phone, but I also have the ability to render my cell phone useless on a regular basis. I take a million pictures with it, mostly of my rascal kids. I uploaded my pictures just before it melted down and thought I would share a few of my favorites.</div>
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Maya loooooves it when I rub her head. The photo strip below shows Maya totally awake and alert, then I start rubbing her head and she immediately falls asleep and goes into magical fantasy dream land where her eyes roll all around and she smiles super big. Pretty much my favorite thing ever.</div>
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It is just so fun having Maya for my daughter. I love dressing her and making her little hair bows and snuggling her into soft pink blankets. </div>
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It's funny because I feel like I have someone to commiserate with and spend time with just us girls. Her personality is really starting to show.</div>
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Maya is now 4 lbs 5.5 oz and is starting to grow out of her doll clothes. Yeah you heard right, this feisty baby of mine wears American Girl size doll dresses. On Sundays I like to wear my "Sunday best" to church and even at home if I cannot attend. I like to do this because it makes the Sabbath feel special and different from other days. I thought it would be special if Maya could wear a dress on Sundays too. I have always loved seeing super cute dresses on baby girls with all the fluffy tutus and ribbons and I just couldn't find ANY preemie dresses. So one Saturday I saw an ad for a garage sale near me that listed doll clothes as one of the items for sale. I thought I would check it out. Well it turned out to be a tender mercy for me. It may seem silly but it really meant a lot to me to be able to put my baby girl in a dress. When I explained to the lady that they were for my daughter I pretty much turned that garage sale on it's ear. I should have known that would happen but I was asking her if she had any cardigans or leggings to go with the dresses and it started to sound like I was REALLY into dolls. Hahaha! I had people getting all choked up and wanting to pray with me- it was kind of intense :) So I rushed home and made matching leggings and hair bows, it was pretty much the best thing ever. Later that same lady who made the doll dresses, contacted me and wanted to come meet Maya and brought her another dress. There are a lot of good people in this crazy world of ours. And wouldn't ya know it Maya is growing into newborn clothes!!!! She is pretty much ginormous now!</div>
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Aaaand since I do not typically have a professional photographer following me around I take a decent amount of selfies. Often I am holding Maya next to me and I think how I never want to forget that feeling.</div>
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She loves to be held and snuggled. I often hold her up against my chest and she will try and move her head so that she can just look up at me. I just love her so much. </div>
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(Feeding Maya with a syringe nestled in my shirt)</div>
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(Looking right at her Daddy...and yes those are purple polka-dot pants and a floral shirt...and no I couldn't find a matching outfit for me.)</div>
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Maya in her favorite sleeping spot.</div>
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Maya has had several doctors appointments and some rough days here and there. Certainly it has been an emotional roller coaster but for now I just wanted to share how much I love being this mighty girl's mama.</div>
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"I am the daughter of a king </div>
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who is not moved by the world</div>
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for my God is with me</div>
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and goes before me</div>
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I do not fear</div>
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because I am His"</div>
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More next time.</div>
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<br />Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-40662851323833409332016-07-31T13:47:00.001-07:002016-07-31T13:47:56.714-07:00Maya Journey: Hope is Never Lost (part 2)Recently on Maya Journey.... :)<br />
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***This is the other side of the medical story, the side filled with hope, strength, kindness, charity, and love, supplied by our amazing medical family at Maternal Fetal Medicine and many others at Geisinger in Danville and Forty Fort.*****<br />
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I talked about our introduction to carrying a baby with Trisomy 18, a chromosomal disorder lovingly categorized as incompatible with life. (yer MOM's incompatible with life!...sorry, reflex).<br />
That was a very hard time in our lives. A few weeks after that first appointment with my regular OB (the one with no hope), we met with the MFM specialists in Danville at that fancy hospital I mentioned. We went for several appointments including an ultrasound, echocardiogram, and discussion with a genetic counselor. This would turn into an all-day event, that I was not super looking forward to enduring. <br />
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It has now been a few months since that day, and there were many other subsequent epic doctor days since that one, but that is when things turned around, and I will explain how. Before I became a stay at home mom I worked in a few different residential treatment centers as an in-training therapist (the psycho kind;). Each patient/client had their very own treatment team, a group of multi-disciplinary individuals that would meet both individually with the client but also as a team to discuss treatment plans that fit the goals and needs of the client. Since working in that environment I often thought that medical treatment should be the same way. Well, shockingly that is the kind of medical care we were stepping into when we started seeing our new doctors in Danville, and not only that, they really saw us as people, like the human kind, not the piece of flesh on a conveyor belt that needs medicine and then it will go away kind.<br />
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I remember vividly the look on Dr. Bringman's face when I shared my experience about my OB. He gently explained that my OB and many doctors say things and are not speaking from experience, and he told us he wanted to apologize on behalf of that doctor, who really just didn't know what she was talking about. There were several faces in that ultrasound room as we watched our baby girl on the screen and Dr. Bringman explained that we were already her parents, we were already loving and taking care of her and that she was ours. We felt so much love coming from everyone in that room. <br />
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Janelle was our ultrasound technician when we found out we were having a girl and for just about every appointment after that. She came into the room and gave us big hugs and told us that she had been thinking about us since that first ultrasound and had gone home and started researching because she just wanted to help us in some way. I had actually thought a lot about her as well because she witnessed our tears of joy and excitement when she told us we were having a girl (finally!!!) all the while she was seeing that our baby girl had some major issues and then witnessed the tears as we cried when the doctor explained that our baby girl had serious health problems.<br />
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Mindy and Allison (the social work hospital gurus) also were very concerned with how we were handling the news and both that day and for several months following, would bend over backwards to love and support our whole family through this journey. I can't even begin to share all that they did and continue to do for us, we just love them so much. Even on that very first day Mindy was paging doctors and taking us to each appointment and taking notes for us and asking questions for us that we wouldn't know to ask, and explaining things to us. She even showed up to one appointment with lunch for us! And theeeeeen I guess after we left our appointment with Dr. Bringman he had shared with her how he wished they could take care of my regular OB appointments there as well, so guess what...Mindy made it happen! (That should really be her name- Mindy MadeitHappen). Mindy was able to line up an appointment with Dr. Fisher so that I wouldn't have to go back to no hope land!<br />
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My views at our echocardiogram (fancy ultrasound just of Maya's heart)</div>
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So many times Nate and I have shared with our friends and family what a difference our medical professionals made for us in this journey and that it would have been a very dark path without them (and I haven't even mentioned all of our angel nurses). At my last echocardiogram with our cardiologist Dr. Golten, I told her that I was actually going to miss our appointments and seeing her, she agreed and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and told me to stay positive and that everything will be ok.<br />
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One of the places Nate and I go in times of trouble especially, is the temple. The temple is a dedicated holy place where we can receive comfort, inspiration and peace. <br />
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(This is the temple where Nate and I were married)</div>
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We go in the temple feeling burdened and we leave the temple feeling strengthened and like "hey life isn't so bad, we can do this." I'm saying this because we felt similarly when we went to these long appointment days. We would show up feeling burdened and scared, and we would leave often after 5-6 hours of pretty much all rough news appointments feeling somehow lifted and strengthened. We really felt so much love from all of our doctors, technicians, case workers, you name it. I suppose there were heavenly, unseen angels (and still are) helping us along, but they certainly felt to be out-numbered by the ones in those offices.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28.8px;">"I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28.8px;">angelic</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28.8px;"> is the only word that comes to mind." (</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28.8px;">Jeffery R. Holland, "</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Zoram, "noto sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 28.8px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/the-ministry-of-angels?lang=eng">The Ministry of Angels</a>").</span><br />
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Truly all of our medical support team was angelic for us and will forever be in our hearts.<br />
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More next time...<br />
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<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-55691239581154823922016-07-28T11:52:00.000-07:002016-07-28T11:52:23.397-07:00Maya Journey: Hope is Never LostMaya Journey: Hope is Never Lost<br />
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Spoiler alert: lots of misspelled medical terms and grammatical errors a head :)<br />
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***I wrote this entry a couple months ago and never published because I had planned to include both the dark days of this pregnancy and how things turned around once we switched doctors but I ended up just writing about the hard part first, so more to come about how we were later surrounded by the best medical professionals in the universe and the many miracles that followed.****<br />
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We went to our 20+ week ultrasound where we learned Maya had some red flags for chromosomal issues including a heart defect. The genetic counselor explained the possibilities and some of the genetic testing available including the associated risks. Never even considering in past pregnancies the offers to do prenatal testing, this didn't feel too different because we knew that we would not terminate a pregnancy. At length we explained this to the counselor and the doctor explained that he understood but to keep in mind that with the red flags present we may want to prepare ourselves. That reason made more sense and we did move forward with an Amnio.<br />
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We learned of Maya's diagnosis the Tuesday before Easter. The same genetic counselor we spoke with prior to the testing, gave us the news, and then asked if we were still going to continue the pregnancy. When she asked us that question even after our lengthy discussion about our feelings against terminating a pregnancy...it felt kind of like an "are ya suuuure?" and that are baby wasn't worth it in the eyes of medical land. (I like to live in magical fantasy land, and so medical land really didn't seem that fun at this point).<br />
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(<a href="http://unicornratings.tumblr.com/">magical fantasy land</a>)</div>
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(<a href="http://www.imfromdenver.com/5-photos-of-the-old-denver-general-hospital-that-will-creep-you-out/">medical land</a>)</div>
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Thankfully we were invited to go on a vacation with the Woodruffs and we had an absolute blast. We were nestled in a cabin in the mountains with a big pile of nature, cuzzies, and Easter candy...exactly what we needed. <br />
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We went to church that Easter and heard a talk about how not all miracles look the same. (Brilliant, and inspired obviously). The speaker said (in essence), sometimes all you have to do is take a step into the water (Moses parting the Red Sea) and God will blaze a path, but sometimes God sends a fish to swallow you whole (Jonah). Most of the examples were of those asked to accomplish something of God and lead down a very difficult path to do so. <br />
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Certainly, that Easter Sunday we felt the hope of the resurrection more intensely and connected deeply with our gratitude for the savior...and also perhaps the realization that a giant fish had eaten us.<br />
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Shortly after we returned from our Easter vacation it was time for another doctor visit, the first one Maya and I would attend wearing our new label "Trisomy 18" (echo echo echo). Naturally this was a terrible introduction to our new world. The doctor actually said "There is NO HOPE" and asked why I would still deliver at the fancy hospital with the NICU when they would not be doing anything for me anymore. The doctor (and this was one I had liked and respected) went on to tell me how she could prescribe me depression meds because losing a baby will be hard and normally they don't do that because it could cause birth defects but I "<b>don't have to worry about that now.</b>" She continued to describe changes in the birthing process and that the focus would no longer be on the baby but on the care of the mother. I felt terrible walking out of that appointment. I had nothing to compare to, we had never been through this before, it felt like my baby didn't exist anymore, and that I was transported to a hospital in the 1900s (pictured above). This is where some of those dark days began.<br />
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There is a talk by Jeffery R. Holland called <a href="https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2013-10-2070-elder-jeffrey-r-holland?lang=eng">Like A Broken Vessel</a> that is especially poignant for us right now, it's actually meant to be mainly about Depression, and of course there have been some pretty dark days where I have felt like depression was a tar pit and I was stuck in it, only to be rescued by a wooden sign that read "Your baby is going to die" and on the other side "But hey that's ok she will be an angel so you should be happy" beating me on the head pushing me deeper into the tar. Pleasant right? I Know. Although I have had a good number of days like that, and may have similar ones in my future, it is hard work but I feel like I am on more solid ground.<br />
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"God's love is there for you whether or not you deserve it. It is simply always there. Never, ever, doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold the keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish <a href="https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2009-05-20-blessings-of-the-priesthood?lang=eng">priesthood blessings</a>, take the <a href="https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2016-05-002-sacrament?lang=eng">sacrament</a> every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many. They came when every indication would say that hope was lost. <b>Hope is never lost</b>. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior's own anguished example: <b>If the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong,</b> trusting in happier days ahead." (Jeffery R. Holland)<br />
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Until next time...<br />
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<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-43559898604526165282016-07-14T19:16:00.000-07:002016-07-14T19:16:12.708-07:00Maya Journey: Life with MayaBoy do I have a lot to catch up on! I need to write about Maya's birthday and pretty much every moment since, but right now I am going to talk a little bit about bringing Maya home.<br />
Maya's "nursery" went through many phases throughout my pregnancy. For me, ESPECIALLY in the first trimester, I mainly feel deathly ill, and not the cute kind. So I try and do things to remind me that it is a baby that's making me feel awful, not just a parasite:) The first phase was carrying up the changing table from the basement and hanging the cute canopy over it that we have used for all of our babies, as a reminder to myself that another small person to love and adore will come out of this, and of course by this I mean my glorious dry heaving emotionally unstable body. So then we got the news that our baby had a very low chance of survival. The second phase was putting the changing table back in the basement. Then in the process of dealing with every stage of grief back and forwards eighty times at some point I dragged the crib down the stairs and set it up in our bedroom with a few baby girl items I courageously purchased (one outfit) and the teddy bear the doctor gave us with Maya's heart beat in it, and the blanket I learned how to crochet. Then phase fifteen I made Nate drag the crib back up into the spare bedroom. Phase 97 I actually set up the room like a real, no kidding nursery for Maya. It made me feel both hopeful and despair. This is where we will put our sweet baby girl! This is going to need to be packed up "when this is all over."<br />
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So you kind of get the back and forth we went through a million times about what may or may not happen. Really, all of our doctors appointments and medical committee meetings were all centered around how we wanted things to go at delivery. By this I mean, how far do we want to go with resuscitation, do we want this or that done right away, do we want Maya given to me immediately, do we want them to work on her while I am holding her, do we want to have her blessing immediately, should we have NICU docs or pediatricians present...the list goes on, and really it all was built around delivery.<br />
Once Maya was born, and ALIVE (!!!!!), well I guess we hadn't figured out much after that! On our birth plan the overall goals were that we wanted Maya to be born alive (yes, that was a documented goal), to have the boys meet her, and bring her home as soon as possible. I honestly did not think she would come home with us. So after a typical length stay at the hospital we brought our family of six home with us! Maya was too small (weighing in at 3lbs 15 oz) to even ride in a normal car seat so she gets to ride in everyone's dream...a car bed! One more thing I did not know existed.<br />
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We drove home from the hospital to be met at our house with the hospice team and a delivery of medical equipment including oxygen tanks and this other thing I can only identify as the sucky thing (not just a clever name), and various meds, all of which made available for the ever looming JUST IN CASE (I want to make a joke here, but this is actually does come with a terrible looming feeling of soul crushing grief...especially when I let fear in). </div>
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It has now been two whole weeks with Maya home! When we first found out about her diagnosis Nate gave me a priesthood blessing, and in that blessing he said that Maya would surprise doctors, and that blessing has proven to be true over and over again.</div>
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Maya is a scrawny little squirt but as that popular NICU quote goes, she really IS fierce. To give you an idea of how tiny her bum is check out Maya's diaper vs. our monstrous 2 yr old's diaper.</div>
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Her diaper is still a bit on the big side for her.</div>
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I want to write about every moment since she has been home, but I can probably sum it up by saying we are snuggling her constantly, the boys are always kissing her, and she is always wrapped in about 5 different pink blankets.</div>
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We did go to the Cardiologist who confirmed (as was suspected by multiple echocardiograms while Maya was in my tummy) that Maya is facing heart failure. This could happen in days or weeks from now and will be her ticket back home to Heavenly Father. </div>
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We didn't think we were going to have more than moments with Maya and really we have gotten everything on that epic birth plan I mentioned, and we have seen so many miracles and tender mercies, but as is typical of me...I just want more. So lots of prayers are being uttered and many tears shed, but when we focus on the Lord, I can feel the Holy Ghost lifting my understanding and it feels slightly less soul crushing. That is all I may say about that for now.</div>
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My favorite time of day is the morning. Maya sleeps on my chest, we wake up and the sun is shining. </div>
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I change her tiny diaper as she squeaks and squirms and I dress her in teeny tiny little pink onesies and stretchy pants, oh how I love to do this. She also wears little booties and I snap her onesies over her little pants so she looks like she is ready to mousercise...so cute. Maya acts like the rest of our babies did, squirmy, squeaky, cries when she is hungry, and shoves her fists in her mouth looking for something to eat. When it's time to nurse I use a pump and then Maya latches onto a 6ml syringe. Maya has gotten so used to her syringe's that when she is hungry she forms her mouth like she is sucking on an invisible straw...again ridiculously cute.</div>
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Maya does seem more alert than our other babies, Nate and I have contemplated this as a heavenly gift. Maya opens her eyes and responds when we speak to her. This time is such a treasure to us. Maya opens her eyes and her Daddy leans in and says her name and she perks up and fixes her gaze on him. This is especially amazing considering her condition and that doctors were not sure her brain would function enough to tell her lungs to breathe. Her father speaks and she hears. Gosh we just love her so much. Her hands are tiny and formed in what I guess you could call permanently clenched...nothing is more beautiful than her tiny little hands. </div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y6qA2DLaBkk/V4hEix2nVzI/AAAAAAAABjY/2D4C1hvs8GUxFo3nFKQfeZ1P7Flmq2IvQCLcB/s1600/IMG_20160710_075513.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y6qA2DLaBkk/V4hEix2nVzI/AAAAAAAABjY/2D4C1hvs8GUxFo3nFKQfeZ1P7Flmq2IvQCLcB/s320/IMG_20160710_075513.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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We feel her strong spirit and it is such a contrast with her tiny, vulnerable body. Frequently I think about how Maya is not her body and how amazing it will be to see her with an even more perfect resurrected body. </div>
<div style="background: 0px 0px rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: "open sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin: 6px 6px 26px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span id="323751_751140_751140" m="751140" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"I</span> <span id="323751_751140_751340" m="751340" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">testify</span> <span id="323751_751140_752150" m="752150" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">of</span> <span id="323751_751140_752240" m="752240" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the</span> <span id="323751_751140_752350" m="752350" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">holy</span> <span id="323751_751140_752720" m="752720" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Resurrection,</span> <span id="323751_751140_753890" m="753890" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</span> <span id="323751_751140_754470" m="754470" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">unspeakable</span> <span id="323751_751140_755440" m="755440" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">cornerstone</span> <span id="323751_751140_756180" m="756180" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">gift</span> <span id="323751_751140_756900" m="756900" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">in</span> <span id="323751_751140_757240" m="757240" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the</span> <span id="323751_751140_757410" m="757410" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Atonement</span> <span id="323751_751140_758040" m="758040" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">of </span><span id="323751_751140_758210" m="758210" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the</span> <span id="323751_751140_758310" m="758310" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lord</span><br />
<span id="323751_751140_758630" m="758630" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Jesus</span> <span id="323751_751140_759130" m="759130" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Christ!</span> <span id="323751_751140_760070" m="760070" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">With</span> <span id="323751_751140_760530" m="760530" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">the</span> <span id="323751_751140_760670" m="760670" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">apostle</span> <span id="323751_751140_761230" m="761230" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Paul,</span> <span id="323751_751140_761580" m="761580" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I</span> <span id="323751_751140_761790" m="761790" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">testify</span> <span id="323751_751140_762940" m="762940" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</span> <span id="323751_751140_763460" m="763460" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</span> <span id="323751_751140_763710" m="763710" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">which</span> <span id="323751_751140_763950" m="763950" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">was</span> <span id="323751_751140_764150" m="764150" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">sown</span> <span id="323751_751140_764600" m="764600" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">in</span> <span id="323751_751140_764790" m="764790" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">corruption </span><span id="323751_751140_765640" m="765640" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">will</span> <span id="323751_751140_766090" m="766090" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">one</span> <span id="323751_751140_766680" m="766680" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">day</span> <span id="323751_751140_767240" m="767240" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">be</span> <span id="323751_751140_767430" m="767430" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">raised</span> <span id="323751_751140_767850" m="767850" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">in</span> <span id="323751_751140_768110" m="768110" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">incorruption</span> <span id="323751_751140_769390" m="769390" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">and</span> <span id="323751_751140_769920" m="769920" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</span> <span id="323751_751140_770180" m="770180" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">which</span> <span id="323751_751140_770420" m="770420" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">was</span> <span id="323751_751140_770600" m="770600" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">sown</span> <span id="323751_751140_771030" m="771030" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">in</span> <span id="323751_751140_771270" m="771270" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">weakness</span> <span id="323751_751140_772170" m="772170" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">will</span> <span id="323751_751140_772670" m="772670" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ultimately </span><span id="323751_751140_773570" m="773570" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">be</span> <span id="323751_751140_773790" m="773790" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">raised</span> <span id="323751_751140_774380" m="774380" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">in</span> <span id="323751_751140_774670" m="774670" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">power. </span><span id="323751_775980_775980" m="775980" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I</span><br />
<span id="323751_775980_776200" m="776200" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">bear</span> <span id="323751_775980_776450" m="776450" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">witness</span> <span id="323751_775980_776900" m="776900" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">of</span> <span id="323751_775980_776990" m="776990" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</span> <span id="323751_775980_777290" m="777290" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">day</span> <span id="323751_775980_777570" m="777570" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">when</span> <span id="323751_775980_777890" m="777890" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">loved</span> <span id="323751_775980_778220" m="778220" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ones</span> <span id="323751_775980_778630" m="778630" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">whom</span> <span id="323751_775980_778870" m="778870" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">we</span> <span id="323751_775980_779080" m="779080" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">knew</span> <span id="323751_775980_782160" m="782160" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">to</span> <span id="323751_775980_782310" m="782310" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">have</span> <span id="323751_775980_782710" m="782710" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">disabilities</span> <span id="323751_775980_784130" m="784130" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">in</span> <span id="323751_775980_784580" m="784580" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">mortality </span><span id="323751_775980_786300" m="786300" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">will</span> <span id="323751_775980_787420" m="787420" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">stand</span> <span id="323751_775980_788400" m="788400" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">before</span> <span id="323751_775980_789350" m="789350" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">us</span> <span id="323751_775980_790280" m="790280" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">glorified</span> <span id="323751_775980_791690" m="791690" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">and</span> <span id="323751_775980_792220" m="792220" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">grand,</span> <span id="323751_775980_793550" m="793550" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">breathtakingly</span> <span id="323751_775980_795080" m="795080" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">perfect</span> <span id="323751_775980_796170" m="796170" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">in</span> <span id="323751_775980_796790" m="796790" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">body</span> <span id="323751_775980_797530" m="797530" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">and</span> <span id="323751_775980_798030" m="798030" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">mind.</span> <span id="323751_775980_798610" m="798610" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What</span> <span id="323751_775980_800120" m="800120" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">a </span><span id="323751_775980_800390" m="800390" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">thrilling</span> <span id="323751_775980_801270" m="801270" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">moment</span> <span id="323751_775980_802140" m="802140" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</span> <span id="323751_775980_802490" m="802490" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">will</span> <span id="323751_775980_802770" m="802770" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">be!</span> <span id="323751_775980_803640" m="803640" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I</span> <span id="323751_775980_804270" m="804270" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">do</span> <span id="323751_775980_804540" m="804540" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not</span> <span id="323751_775980_804890" m="804890" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">know</span> <span id="323751_775980_805090" m="805090" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">whether</span> <span id="323751_775980_805480" m="805480" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">we</span> <span id="323751_775980_805670" m="805670" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">will</span> <span id="323751_775980_805880" m="805880" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">be</span> <span id="323751_775980_806070" m="806070" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">happier</span> <span id="323751_775980_806630" m="806630" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</span> <span id="323751_775980_806930" m="806930" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ourselves</span> <span id="323751_775980_808070" m="808070" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that </span><span id="323751_775980_808500" m="808500" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">we</span> <span id="323751_775980_808740" m="808740" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">have</span> <span id="323751_775980_809010" m="809010" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">witnessed</span> <span id="323751_775980_809470" m="809470" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">such</span> <span id="323751_775980_809770" m="809770" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">a</span><br />
<span id="323751_775980_809840" m="809840" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">miracle</span> <span id="323751_775980_810910" m="810910" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">or</span> <span id="323751_775980_811660" m="811660" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">happier</span> <span id="323751_775980_812320" m="812320" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">for</span> <span id="323751_775980_812580" m="812580" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">them</span> <span id="323751_775980_813640" m="813640" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">that</span> <span id="323751_775980_814390" m="814390" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">they</span> <span id="323751_775980_814610" m="814610" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">are</span> <span id="323751_775980_814850" m="814850" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fully</span> <span id="323751_775980_815440" m="815440" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">perfect</span> <span id="323751_775980_816750" m="816750" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">and</span> <span id="323751_775980_817470" m="817470" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">finally 'f</span><span id="323751_775980_818880" m="818880" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">ree</span> <span id="323751_775980_819580" m="819580" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">at</span> <span id="323751_775980_819710" m="819710" style="background: 0px 0px; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">last.'" (Elder Jeffery R Holland)</span></div>
<div style="background: 0px 0px rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: "open sans", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; margin: 6px 6px 26px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal; text-align: left;">I will leave you with that. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal; text-align: left;">Thank you for all of the prayers and love, we really do feel it.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal; text-align: left;">Until next time...</span></div>
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<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-17915554543226348222016-05-13T23:00:00.000-07:002016-05-13T23:00:05.923-07:00Maya Journey: Naming our Baby Girl<b>Naming Our Baby Girl!</b><br />
At the ultrasound on March 8th when we were introduced to the possibility of chromosomal abnormalities the doctor asked us if the baby had a name. Normally we come up with fifty different lists and once the baby is born we stare at him (or her) for a while and try and figure out what name is the most fitting. In this case, once we knew for sure that our baby girl had Trisomy 18, the doctors explained that could mean very likely that she may not survive to term. <br />
We came to realize that this pregnancy, baby swishing around in my tummy, may be the only time we get with her and we wanted to connect with her as soon as possible. We chose the name Maya Grace for our baby girl. Maya just sounded so happy and one of the definitions is goddess of spring which just seemed so perfect. A friend of mine brought a gift of tulips (one of my favorite flowers) and mentioned how if we planted the bulbs they would come back the next year, and although I have understood that tulips don't last very long, they are very beautiful. I decided that wherever we live we will plant Maya tulips to enjoy each spring. Grace is my great grandmother's name and I have felt a connection with her despite never actually meeting her in person. We also felt connected with the name Grace because it is by the grace of God that we are made better people. And gosh despite all of my faults and weaknesses being revealed all at once, it is my hope to be a better person and a stronger family because of Maya.<br />
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Our latest pictures of Maya baby:) Oh how I love to look at these!</div>
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The doctor also gave us the idea of celebrating Maya's milestones even before birth (like every week when I get those "your baby is the size of a..." email. So we decided to have a cake in her honor for one of those such weeks.</div>
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(Note the "M" cake behind the insane boys).</div>
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More later...</div>
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<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-20089717794075834222016-05-13T22:30:00.001-07:002016-05-13T22:30:23.808-07:00Maya Journey: Telling the Boys<b>The News</b><br />
The way I pictured our day going after finding out we were having a girl (FINALLY!) was much different than reality. Really, I would have ditched everyone (the fifty boys I live with) and gone baby dress shopping. Instead we were faced with the news that our baby may be still born or live at most one year. It seemed more like she would only wear one dress.<br />
However, we wanted to celebrate! (with heavy hearts).<br />
We decided to continue with our plans to surprise the boys and skype/call family members with the exciting news. So we bought three extra girly princessy balloons and wrapped them inside a large box that we had the boys open to reveal what flavor sibling they would be getting:) I have a video but it is too large so picture the photo below and the boys screaming. If you have been to our house that should not be hard to do.<br />
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George: "It's a girl!" (running around screaming)<br />
Henry: "Balloons!" (no clue what is going on, but also running around screaming)<br />
Oliver: "No!!!!!! I wanted it to be a boy!!!!" (weeping and wailing)<br />
Gill: "Ha!! Suckers!!" (If I had a football I would have spiked it. I mean c'mon, it's four against one people.)<br />
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Finally we consoled Oliver and told him that there is a baby girl that just found out she is going to have Oliver for a big brother and she is so excited! Ollie softened and decided he was happy to have a sister and adamant that her name should be Olivia.<br />
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So we rejoiced with family members and texted the good news to siblings and parents who also talked about how fun it will be for us to have a girl, listing off all the girly things that would soon fill the house. Later that night and the following day we broke the harder news to our family and enlisted prayers, fasting, care bear stares etc. Many tears were shed.<br />
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My sister Becky hopped in the car with her two girls and drove 10 hours to basically hang out with me and watch the boys during our hospital trip for the amnio and more ultrasounds. It was so fun and comforting having her there to eat Chinese food and candy while we processed and waited to process news.<br />
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Soon after we had a family home evening with the boys and told them the news about their baby sister. We knew for sure (compared to the what we knew about chromosomal defects), that she had a serious heart defect that would require intense intervention with grim statistics immediately after birth. We explained to the boys the physical aspects of the baby's medical problems and explained what we know spiritually about our baby. The younger boys did the usual once we really got talking (running laps and screaming) but George was able to listen and understand. We talked about how heavenly father has a <a href="https://www.lds.org/topics/plan-of-salvation?lang=eng">plan</a> for each one of us including gaining a physical body and having experiences that allow us to learn and grow (this was not new to him but a child dying is a different situation). Often a lifetime is measured in decades but in our baby girl's case Heavenly Father may need her to return back to Him much sooner. We talked about how she was likely a sword wielding (bad a**) from the pre-mortal existence, that is so awesome all she has to do is gain a physical body and Heavenly Father has a special mission for her to be one of our angels. If you are reading this, you know that I picture angels differently...my dad passed away in 2001 and I later photoshopped his face onto Obi Wan Kenobi, naturally that is how I picture my sword (light saber) wielding angel Dad.<br />
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This is also how I picture my sword wielding baby girl:)<br />
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Despite our knowledge of the plan of salvation, knowing that God is in charge and that there is purpose to our lives, we still have pretty bad days. I may go into more emotional stuff in another post but I can't begin to express how little I knew about grief and grieving until now. After one of those bad days, as we tucked the boys into bed and reflected on the events of the day Nate talked a little bit about trials. As Nate began to explain how we are facing trials and the purpose of trials etc. George sat up and said "Dad, this is really good I want to teach <i>my </i>kids about this, can I get a pen and paper to write it down?" George is barely 7 years old. Like he requested he got a piece of paper and a pen and summarized what his father was teaching him. This is what he wrote:<br />
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Not everyone reads first grader so I will translate: "It was the hardest thing my parents had ever been through. My Dad had to fire some people. The baby in my Mom's tummy was going to die. God gives us challenges to make us closer as a family. People either choose to get angry at God or get stronger."</div>
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We were impressed upon to say the least and immediately pinned it up on the boys' wall. I like to look at it sometimes when I have the urge to punch a stranger in the neck:) I can definitely see what the savior meant when he said that whole thing about being like little children.</div>
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So I tried going to the store with my sister to try and celebrate baby girl with some dresses but instead I broke down in the middle of Target staring at the infant clothes. So I decided that we would have pink in our house if it killed me. I bought a ton of fleece and made pink girly blankets for all of us so that we could celebrate in our own way, and honestly I just wanted to snuggle with my boys in some coziness. The boys came with me to the fabric store and helped pick out their fabric, now their beds are covered in pink polka dots and stripes, it's awesome. Henry will not sleep without his cupcake blanky.</div>
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Until next time...<br />
<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-74279090006552989712016-05-13T21:06:00.001-07:002016-05-13T23:09:21.578-07:00Maya Journey: The Second Trimester<b>The Second trimester: Advanced Maternal Age</b><br />
At 15 weeks we had another ultrasound (this was maybe our third or fourth) and I had researched forever, early gender detection in ultrasounds. I read about heart rate (high is a girl) and location of the placenta. I was cautiously already convinced it was a girl because this pregnancy felt so much more intensely not fun, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I also had a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea of it actually being a girl, since I wanted it so bad!! But I was desperate to go buy 8,000 dresses and tutus to console my pregnant barfy self. Thankfully the technician said the hemorrhage and cysts were gone! We were thrilled to not have to worry about that anymore and have a break from the doctor visits! The baby was still pretty tiny and naturally her legs were crossed! I mentioned the location of the placenta (I read about a study that was maybe 99% accurate at determining gender according to this) and the tech said that she had just read the same thing! So wouldn't you know it the placenta was on the right side, meaning a girl! We were not convinced but I was hopeful mainly because they didn't see a penis! (Sorry boys) There is a sound that every ultrasound tech makes when they see it is a boy, first they turn everything on and immediately upon seeing the baby they say "Ope" (like hope without the H) in a surprise high pitched tone, and then they ask if we want to know gender...it's a boy, we already know:) With Oliver we even found out he was a boy I think around this same time because I had to have an ultrasound on my heart and the guy offered to show us the baby just for fun. So we were pretty excited and thankful for the good news. The bummer was that for the first time with this baby I would have a break from ultrasounds, naturally just missing the window of being able to really tell if it was a boy or girl.<br />
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The doctor situation out here in Pennsylvania is such that you don't really have <i>one doctor</i>, you have one<i> </i>large doctor's<i> office</i>, with all kinds of flavors of medical professionals and you get who you get. This was different for us because with our three boys we always had 1-3 at most working with us. So every visit I saw a new face and watched them read through my chart for the first time right in front of me, approaching my complications with varying degrees of concern etc. So I was glad that the concerns had been resolved. So at my, I think 18 week visit, the latest doctor noted my "ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE" (I want that read in a deep echo-y epic man voice). Apparently having a baby at age 35 (which I am) is like a grandma deciding to give birth! The doctor was again, concerned, and wanted to send me over to advanced maternal fetal medicine for my 20+ week ultrasound. I am used to being offered the prenatal testing and all that during pregnancies and have always turned them down because I never felt it necessary (we would not terminate a pregnancy). So this doctor was suggesting testing etc. talking about the risks going up with age blah blah blah. I just figured, cool a more high tech ultrasound that makes your baby look like its made out of lava. The bummer was I had to wait THREE MORE WEEKS for my ultrasound. The wait was killing me. Finally March 8th 2016 finally arrived!!! Family members were counting down with me, eager to know if it was a girl! I was wanting a girl so bad that I had decided not to do a fun gender reveal with friends present because I didn't know how I would react if it was a boy...seriously. (Side note: as it actually got closer to ultrasound day I started to get scared that it was going to be a girl because I had no idea how to take care of a girl). The summer before we got pregnant I was at the park playing with the boys when at the softball field across the path I heard the crack of the bat and girls cheering, something inside me from that moment made me long for a baby girl...these boys aren't going to play softball, what a ripoff! I had loved the thought of a baby girl before that point as well, I even started having princess parties with my nieces and their mommies so that I could get some girl time in, and I vowed to do that annually, but when I heard that softball game, I just really wanted a girl for myself.<br />
The day finally arrived and I practically skipped to the door of the doctor's office and Nate and I waited eagerly for my name to be called. Finally, there we were, finally!!! Jelly on my belly, dim lit room, and the question...do you want to know the gender? YESSSSSSSS!!! It's a girl!! I cried I was so excited! The ultrasound went on as Nate and I talked, in shock, about what it would be like to have a girl in the family!!! No doubt I mentioned going shopping! Finally!!! Have I mentioned... FINALLY!!!? <br />
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The ultrasound was pretty long and concluded with a visit from the doctor.<br />
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This is hard. When I think about what happens next, I hesitate. The doctor came in and explained that he had seen a few things in the ultrasound and wanted to take some time to walk us through the ultrasound findings. At this point I wasn't overly surprised because I had predicted, since they would be looking with hi-tech gear and for an extended amount of time, that they would find something to stress us out. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. The doctor explained that our baby had an underdeveloped cerebellum and cysts on her brain, additionally he could see some heart defects, as well as possible issues with her fingers. Nate and I held hands as I lay there in that dim lit room staring in disbelief. After a while I began to cry, and the doctor was so kind and wanted to make sure he wasn't overwhelming us with information. Four hours later after learning about chromosomal defects, genetic testing, meeting with a genetic counselor via skype, etc we walked out of the office with advice not to look at the internet...which is almost as encouraging as when someone tells you to read about Job in the bible to feel better:) Man...things must be pretty bad.<br />
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Like I said before, I have been offered prenatal testing in the past but had never been interested. When I explained our feelings to the doctor he understood that we wanted to continue the pregnancy but that with all of the red flags, we may want to prepare ourselves. I told the doctor that we would have to research and pray about what to do next, and the doctor said he would pray for us as well. That gave us a lot of comfort and now having had a billion more doctor visits I have to say that I love and appreciate this doctor so much (Dr. Bringman). Two days later we drove to Danville (the big hospital about an hour away) and we had an echocardiogram and met with a pediatric cardiologist who explained in more detail the present heart defects. Following that appointment we had another ultrasound and an amniocentesis. I have to say, as far as fun things to do, an amnio isn't like at the <i>top</i> of my list. I mean you would think it would be fun right? Actually it wasn't as bad as I thought, The reeeally fun part was waiting 10 bleeping business days for the results.<br />
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(This is of the echocardiogram- super long ultrasound only looking at the baby's heart)<br />
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<b>The Phone Call</b><br />
Tuesday March 22, the phone rings...I may have been staring at my phone telling it to ring...or not ring (I couldn't decide what was worse, them calling or not calling). The genetic counselor told me that she had the results and so I called Nate and he came home so that we could be together. We thought this time we wanted to be together at home instead of in a doctor's office, we wanted to hear the results, hang up the phone and process it without an audience. So we turned a show on for the boys in the next room, said a prayer, and received the news that our baby girl had <a href="http://trisomy.org/">Trisomy 18</a>, also known as Edwards Syndrome.<br />
<br />Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-91610787308590121802016-05-13T21:00:00.001-07:002016-05-13T21:00:17.138-07:00Maya Journey: The First Trimester<b><br /></b>
<b>The first trimester: Endless Doc Appointments</b><br />
In November 2015 we found out we were having a baby! With three little boys in our house it has been a dream of ours to have a baby girl join our rowdy crew. We prayed after finding out we were pregnant again, that boy or girl, heavenly father would send us a baby that would bring balance to our family. I thought specifically of Ollie, I imagined this next baby and him having a special bond.<br />
Very early on in my pregnancy I developed some complications that posed a threat to the baby and starting from the first trimester I was having several ultrasounds and additional doctor visits, my doctor had even predicted that I was having multiples because my levels were high, I was so sick, and I had the worst pregnant brain I have ever experienced. I would (on multiple occasions) be driving somewhere and forget where I was going! I remember trying to repeat in my head "go pick up Ollie, go pick up Ollie" and I would still pass it and have to turn around! The first ultrasound was for dating purposes and to identify the number of fetuses. The ultrasound indicated one rascal baby as well as multiple cysts on my ovaries and a <a href="https://www.verywell.com/subchorionic-hematoma-2371262">subchorionic hemorrhage</a> that needed close monitoring. Since we had so many ultrasounds early on we were able to see our baby developing and nicknamed her our little seahorse. I remember thinking that if it is a girl I'm going to make a giant glitter seahorse painting for her room!<br />
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(See...sea horses:)<br />
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I was extremely sick the first trimester. My face was grey and I felt like death. I remember one vomit session very vividly because I had barely chewed up my food when I had to run to the bathroom and nearly choked on what felt like an entire un-cut sandwich coming up my throat. Thankfully we had lots of support from our friends who supplied meals, cleaned our house, took Ollie to preschool, watched the boys during appointments and so on. It really was a life saver. On one occasion (of many) a friend came over to help clean and I felt so sick, it is kind of embarrassing having even a friend come over to clean up your family's filth. My friend was on her hands and knees scrubbing our kitchen floor and then at one point she went into my room (which was naturally also a total disaster), I remember trying to stop her, again embarrassing. In my mind I said something like "no don't worry about that, you have done so much thank you..." but I think I maybe just groaned at her and fell unconscious. I lay there like a slug, it was my only defense.<br />
Today at the doctor's office I heard a woman saying she was 13 weeks along, and all I could think was you poor poor woman, I'm so glad I'm not you!<br />
For the first time, out of all of my pregnancies I thought, ok this is the last time (especially if it is a girl). After this everyone is here. I'm getting too old for this.<br />
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Gillianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07404524375069106366noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-54614338969606839962013-03-15T19:32:00.000-07:002013-03-15T19:32:50.103-07:005 Year Anniversary!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We decided to relive this picture from our wedding day! Five years later with two boys and likely another on the way!</div>
Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-62675827260942635552013-02-25T20:58:00.004-08:002013-02-25T21:41:16.818-08:00Create<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What do these pictures have in common?!?</span><br />
Let us tell you...but first...a story.</td></tr>
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We have actually gotten into a really good habit of having family home evening each week...this is a miracle in itself. I found a fantastic website that has FHE lesson plans for toddlers that has worked really well for us:</div>
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( http://mormonmommymft.blogspot.com/2011/12/55-fhe-ideas-with-toddler.html )</div>
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Often the lesson is literally 5 minutes or less with some sort of object lesson activity. Some of my favorites are "Mommy Says" (An obey your parents version of Simon Says) and "Holy Ghost Hide and Seek" which George refers to as "that ghost game":) This one was fun. We hid a snow globe while George was out of the room and when he came back in I whispered directions to him on where to go to find it. We played it again but this time Nate and Ollie were making lots of noise which made it difficult for George to hear the whispers of the "Holy Ghost" then we explained the nature of the spirit.</div>
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Along with the lesson we teach George a new primary song. George loves to sing and is desperate to sing along in church. </div>
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This week we practiced the song "My Heavenly Father Loves Me" and of course all these songs make me cry but who here is surprised...oh no one.</div>
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1. Whenever I hear the song of a bird</div>
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Or look at the blue, blue sky,</div>
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Whenever I feel the rain on my face</div>
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Or the wind as it rushes by,</div>
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Whenever I touch a velvet rose</div>
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Or walk by our lilac tree,</div>
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I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world</div>
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Heav'nly Father created for me.</div>
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2. He gave me my eyes that I might see</div>
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The color of butterfly wings.</div>
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He gave me my ears that I might hear</div>
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The magical sound of things.</div>
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He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:</div>
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I thank him rev'rently</div>
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For all his creations, of which I'm a part.</div>
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Yes, I know Heav'nly Father loves me.</div>
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<i style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Words and music:</i> Clara W. McMaster, 1904-1997. © 1961 IRI. Arr. © 1989 IRI</div>
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We also watched the Mormon Message "Create"</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/RhLlnq5yY7k?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul."</div>
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And then we shared with George our family surprise!</div>
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Below is a link to a video that feels like it is super long but worth it!</div>
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<a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B5WrnsoHgFEhTjJkU2paMkloc0E/edit?usp=sharing" needshandler="needsHandler" style="background-color: white; color: #0065cc; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">https://docs.go<wbr></wbr>ogle.com/file/d<wbr></wbr>/0B5WrnsoHgFEhT<wbr></wbr>jJkU2paMkloc0E/<wbr></wbr>edit?usp=sharin<wbr></wbr>g</a></div>
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So now the pictures make sense...Ollie being neglected and eating cheerios off the floor at his favorite buffet spot, don't worry this only happens 2 or 3 times a day, Nate coming home with various fast food, also only happens 2 or 3 times a day, George playing the IPAD for hours, and me napping several times a day (mostly because I lose consciousness if I sit still). We were going to try and wait until graduation to tell our family (that was a pretty unrealistic goal for us) but I started getting really sick and thought it would be a hard secret to keep...obviously. We are so excited that between our two families there will be 5 babies born within a 9 months of each other!</div>
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March 15th marks our five year anniversary and as we look back on our short time together we can count 4 apartments, 4 cars, many callings, 2 Master's degrees, 2 crazy boys, many arguments and misunderstandings, many makeups, a zillion games of tag, peek-a-boo, angry birds and cars, endless amounts of diapers and searches for pacifiers, blood, sweat, laughter, tears, and now vomit (again)...to name a few. Truly our life is hilarious, messy and loud and has long surpassed my wildest dreams. Nate I adore you and I am so thankful we are having this adventure together! Here's to the many more that lay before us.</div>
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<br />Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6198863797546159469.post-79726710103153959572013-01-09T19:01:00.001-08:002013-01-09T19:01:31.528-08:00And the winners of the Smith Iron Chef "Major Award" is . . . <br />
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<img src="http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/attachments/zomgwtfbbqgtfololcats/7738d1247378361-can-your-pc-sexy-leg-lamp1-small-.jpg" /><br />
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<b>JOEL and Devon for their <span style="background-color: #eeeeee; font-family: arial, sans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cuban pork, Black Beans, Rice and Chocolate Souffles!!!!!</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="background-color: #eeeeee; font-family: arial, sans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here's the link to our results!! See ALL WINNERS on the right side of the excel sheet!!</span></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b><a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApWrnsoHgFEhdGhzcnVQekxRbGNLWFFGVnFCNXZORmc#gid=0">https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApWrnsoHgFEhdGhzcnVQekxRbGNLWFFGVnFCNXZORmc#gid=0</a></b></span></span>Nate Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09997434367577497710noreply@blogger.com0